It’s exactly it I did not instigate the part which I feeling most guilty about. So…. Why am I feeling so bad for this part which I was not responsible for. True… I let my guard down.. but… I couldn’t be held responsible for it now could I? Why kill yourself over the mistakes of others? Is it worth it? Is one single experience worth it? No. It is not. Mel please focus on what you can change- not what you cannot. You know you love AJ. You know that in your right frame of mind, you would have probably killed anyone who did that to you. You know it. Be it via a paddle or a sword. So Mel stop beating yourself up. Like I say, don’t worry about what you can change. Now you fear that he will stop loving you. But if he really did can you stop that?? No. You can’t. All you can do now is believe in him that he will be there for you. That he loves you as much as you do, him.
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