When friends tell you "he" is a "good guy"

You've been through it before- you fall for some guy and your mutual friends reassure you that he is a "good guy" and a "nice guy". You trust what the majority, or what these people say, because they know the dude better than you. You drop your guard and you fall in love... only to find that all is not as rosy as you had expected it to be. The guy breaks your heart and cheats your feelings and you end up broken-hearted and disheartened.

And then it's like de ja vu all over again. You know a guy and your mutual friends are as encouraging as the good ol' Chinese parents were when their sons wanted to go to the capital to take the examinations to become scholars. However, would you go down that same path again? It is true that these two guys are different, but how different are things going to be? You have a choice, how do you choose?

For one, we shouldn't rush into anything. These things often get blown out of proportion because we girls rush into relationships too easily, we give our hearts too early, without sourcing for the valuable information that will protect us from harm but which will take some time to uncover. Take it slow and easy, try to enjoy the journey of getting-to-know-you rather than the whirlwind emotional roller coaster that will lead you back to square one, at the controllers.

Don't get your hopes up either. When you don't hope, you won't be disappointed. That being said, you shouldn't be like a pessimistic weeping willow and be negative about everything. It's stupid to go, "oh he's asking me out but he's gonna quit at the last minute and leave me straded at the movies so I'd better not go." Just don't bank all your hopes on this guy and take the good things that come just as an added bonus, not an expectatin.

Also, see what is being shown, not what you want to see. If he is being a jerk, don't try to cook up excuses for him thinking, "oh but they all told me he is a nice guy, so he must be having some problems that's why he's acting like that." No, if he's acting like a jerk, he probably is one.

Keep your eyes and ears open, because once you give the keys to your heart away, you ain't able to get a locksmith should you be locked out of your own heart. You'll have to make a new heart and unless you're so used to it, it can be really difficult and painful.