Sometimes we tend to "think too much" or overthink. Waiting by the phone, a minute turns into years as we think of what our lover is doing, who is he talking with, whether she is attracted to the new guy at the coffee place etc. All the negativity sets in and it builds in us and consumes us and we find ourselves breaking up. We do not know what happened. And then it happens again, and again and again....
Overthinking usually introduces negativity into the relationship; and as we know, no relationship thrives on negativity. So how do we stop that from happening?
1
Conciously stop yourself. Whenever you find your thoughts running wild; be it a chanting of the person's names or the image of your lover with another guy or girl, STOP. You can scream out the word or even slap yourself on the forehead but STOP. It would take a huge amount of effort but the first step is always the most critical. If you're stopping yourself for the first time, you might not even realise it when you are thinking too much because it might be so natural for you. Here are some indications for you when you start to think too much-
You start feeling sad and depressed. Thoughts wonder to stuff like "how long is this relationship going to last?" and "I think he/she is going to break up with me."
When you find yourself clinging on to your phone waiting for the person to text you while thinking "Why haven't they texted me yet.... it's been 2 minutes already!!!"
You see that your personal blog is full of negative thoughts and fears about the relationship.
2
Ask yourself why you feel this way. Have your other half given you cause to feel this way? Have they had a history of cheating or are they being different suddenly. Try to think from a third person's point of view, whether your thoughts are ranging from unfounded to psychotic. If the other party has given you no cause to feel this way then such anxiety and overthinking is really your problem and you've got to nip it in the bud. Stop yourself, as mentioned earlier and change.
3
Find a distraction. Yes when you are thinking too much about something, the best thing you can do is find something to distract you from your own thoughts. Try not to be alone or somewhere quiet. Get your boys and girls to head to town with you for a movie or some frisbee. Go to the gym and go crazy on the new workout program you found on the internet. Bake a cake for a potluck with your girls or start up your computer for some Warcraft with your buddies.
4
Talk to your partner about it. It would be nice for you to let your partner know. It would be especially helpful if they were the ones who have given you cause to feel this way. If you think they are cheating on you, ask them. Do it nicely of course, there is no need for you to blow your top at them only to realise that the person they were seen with was actually an aunt who just came to town for a holiday. Communication is key here.
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