Daymare Attack

The 'attack' usually comes suddenly. For no apparent reason but for the fear that is in me. I know and have been told there is no need to fear. But how can one not? Even the strongest and those who are most sure of themselves fear. Confidence is key. Confidence is attractive. Confidence is what I seek to be. But in this journey of finding my direction, my confidence, very much like making a quest, dark monsters tend to be lurking around and sometimes I have to battle them. Those who care will understand. Those who don't will see me as weak and will desert me. But when I do complete my task and come out stronger than I was. Those who stay by me will see the rewards they deserve and those who desert me will have nothing.


The feeling of fear, hope, sadness, resignation.
The feeling of hating these feelings I feel.
Unfounded emotions, fears, possible scars.
Limitless 'maybes', 'what-ifs' and 'buts'.

Attack again; falling, tumbling.
Scared to open up the doors to the mind.
Thinking, struggling not to think.
Tired of the unending ambushes found inside.

Seeing, yet hoping not to see.
Feeling, yet hoping not to feel.
Playing out scenarios in my head;
Those not supposed to be there.

The hoping of love, help, security.
The hoping of strength to end these thoughts.
Seeking the aid, protection and faith;
That might already be there.

The poem starts with the fear. It ends with hope. The middle depicts the turmoil, or perhaps the surface of it, of the persona.