I really don't know what to think sometimes. Sometimes I feel so secure, like everything is working for me... other times I feel that I'm just not good enough: I'm too fat, have a bad temper, not rich not confident yada yada yada... argh... so freaking irritating.... What on earth does this mean?
I'm seriously trying my best to keep my confidence level up. Guess it is working... I guess.. but you know sometimes even when you're a barrier made of steel or whatever metal when a force comes down unbeknowst to anyone at a certain angle which is your weak spot you just crumble.. I think many of my friends know where my weak spot is; I remember telling a few of my closer friends. Thing is this weakness will always be there and even when people think it's alright, it's no longer existing... well it is. And when it is struck I may look ok but inside I'm not.
I hope for me to be able to grow accustomed to it being there, that weak spot, so that I don't feel so hurt whenever it is being under fire. I think I can do it. What I really need is a lil' bit more confidence eh?
There is so much I need to change about myself. Really so much. No one is really happy with whatever they have I guess. I used to tell my friends no one is worth you changing yourself for and there is no point trying to change anyone. I don't think I can follow my own advice now can I? haha It's so subjective.
On a more cheerful note, changing for the someone may be a good thing if its a good change =) I think it is good to have more confidence and all that so yes, I'll try. But for me I'm happy with how things are now and wouldn't change anyone for the world. Why should I? I chose that person because of who that person is right? =))
Different people choose to go about differently. Different outcomes will surface. So no point worrying about whether the future is bleak and whatnot. Live in the present and believe that the future will be a happy one. Even if you're the only one imagining the future =)
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