Watched Harry Potter courtesy of Nicole yesterday~ Basically Saturday was school and school haha... But Ray came over to pay school fees and waited in school till after my lecture so we can go for the movie straight. LOL..

On the way out I was faced with the question on why I said the honeymoon period is over when he doesn't feel this way. Hmmm... I guess there are times when I'm emo? There are times when people are a bit quieter or colder I guess and I tend to not be used to it? My friends have been asking me about him. And I guess I've come to the conclusion that there are two types of starts for relationships. One is when a party likes another and they chase the person until a period of time after courtship where they decide to get together. Another is when both parties want to be together and they get together and start the dating. The only difference is the status put upon each other and the time that it is laid down and that dating has no strings attached unlike when one goes into a relationship.

You can say we are getting to know one another now and we're obviously going through the second option. I can say that I've been chased (albeit within a short time), and I've also been through sweet honeymoon periods. Both scenarios are different but are sweet nonetheless. Being chased does not imply I like the person back so whether he calls me, smses me or whatever, it doesn't really bother me. Then i had relationships where we call each other every night and sms each other through out the day. Even when the honeymoon period was over this still occured. I guess things like this gave me a sort of expectation, and when these are no fulfilled I draw a huge question mark or blank.

I have made it my motto to not expect and if good things happen they are bonuses, when they do not, then so be it. For my first, I expected his sweetness throughout and it was only up to the end where it slowly fades did things really get ugly. For the second we seemed to have the expectation that we'd always be there 24/7 and that we'd be getting married (haha...) and it was when we were not there for each other that we felt the pain and we started to be unsure of the getting married plans. Thus I conclude that if I have too many expectations, things will get ugly when they are not met.

Of course I am not saying I do not have expectations. I am just saying I am trying not to have them and when they do arise too strongly I tend to tape them back down. I do not want to carry the expectations rendered me from my past relationships to this relationships as Ray is a totally different guy from the other two. The lack of future plans for us in his head would be totally unnerving if I were to be stuck in my past mindset. That he doesn't call me would be queer too if I were still stuck back there. These thoughts do occur to me now and then but I always remind myself, this is a different guy, do NOT bring the past into the present.

For someone to really enjoy a relationship, they would have to let go of their past ones. Because no two men or women are the same. Then open up their minds so that they can enjoy the present relationship.

Think I have to start doing what I did before, whenever I am down, I'll ask myself what does Ray do to make me feel loved. And he really does quite a bit! =)) Time to update my list of why he's so awesome~