Darling is Back~

Darling went to Malaysia with Derick last Thursday and just came back today!! He got me an Ed Hardy t-shirt and sweats heehee~ so sweet!!! And a hell lot of chewing gum whees~

Darling was sweet enough to drop by my place after coming back heehees~ I really appreciate it =)) Dunno why... feel shy when I see him lei heehee... like dunno what to say... really miss his hugs a lot. Got this feeling like I wanna hug him and don't wanna let go. Heehee...

Muay Thai XVII

Cairnhill with the rest of SIM Muay Thai =)) Most of the juniors came haha woots it was FUN!!! We did lots of stuff!! The starting itself was different. Wilson made us do stuff like knee block- push kicks all done without putting the foot down! It was tiring on the thighs! Hmmm we were seperated into two groups, boys and girls. The girls hit the sandbags first. We had 30sec per set of punching, kneeing, shin kicking and finally anything-goes. I did some extra sets when I could. Wilson saw that my shin kick was mostly from my foot thats why there was sound so I made myself use more of my shin. The other trainer (I don't know what's his name) told me to keep my back straight and not lean so far back for my shin kick. I'll keep that in mind!!

After that we went over to Wilson and we did knee block-shin kicks and block-one two punches. It was seriously tiring. By then it felt very much like shagged out already. We went for another round of kneeing with the sandbags as well s air-kneeing with Coach Jason. After which we had PT!! LOL Loads of different push ups and abs exercises!!! It was a blast!! Didn;t stay for fighter training as Coach Lai obviously had chosen ones in mind. Ah wells. I'll be there one day!!!

Family dinner!!

Had an awesome family dinner!! Everyone came except Zhao Han but that's fine LOL... had HTHT session with Yuxin <3 and Yongxin fell asleep on the sofa haha.... Mum cooked a lot: baby-back ribs, salad, Lagsane, garlic bread and mushroom soup (for Yongxin cos of her teeth), cheese and vegetables for gan die and DESSERT TO DIE FOR LOL...












We also celebrated Wan Yi's birthday and yes we took nice family photos that I have to send to them LOL and I WILL do so soon!!! hahaha.... Got rather nice early Christmas presents too given that we will not be hosting Christmas this year on Christmas eve LOL Maybe I can finally go for a Xmas Holiday! Hahahaha see how...











Had a blast watching Youtube videos with Yuxin and Yongxin. Hope to see them soonish! Christmas again~

I cut my hair~

From today onwards I think I'll go to the hairdresser ear my place instead of to auntie.... Yes she charges $6 but then she's so far away and she's not exactly v skilled. The male hairdresser here always takes his time to cut but then again you can see the skill there. It is obvious he is TRAINED. The aunties here.... not so good... think I'll get him to do my hair from now on~







The hairdresser is right. I've had the assymetrical look for so long. But I look good in short hair so why not go for it? Hahaha Finally I've succumbed to the itch to cut my hair~

Oh night...

Heehee got a post from darling.... wow I didn't know Mel was so easy to pacify LOL.... Hmmm I just ate like noodles for supper... GOD I wish I had darling's metabolism!!! But I am working out so I'm fine for now... just can't do it in excess hmmm LOL...

Am currently watching Shutter on TV now and yes it freaks me out like TOTALLEH!!! But I can't help but notice that in all Thai films, and I mean ALL, they always have one part which is specifically added for comic relief hahaha esp the Tranny in the toilet for Shutter LOL...

Hmmm I feel like going to Malaysia~ Hmmm maybe will go for a road trip!!! lol... PJ and Jess were talking about it... They even said Ray can drive the four of us but I told them the back seat will probably be cramped up!!! LOL Hmmm if Simon was agreeable to it it might be a different story heehees~ See how la... maybe in the end we'll take coach there... or maybe won't even go? Hmmm I think I should bleach my hair. They told me Malaysia is cheaper but I kinda trust Aunty more and I'm more used to her? Hmmm see first? I really hate my hair color!!! ARGH I just wanna go back to normal colors again!!! HELP!!!

The way I'm being treated??? HUH??

Hmmmm am I blinded by love AGAIN?? Hmmmm why is it that people are saying stuff that I keep giving excuses for? Maybe their outlook in a relationship is different? Was with PJ and Jesslyn just now. And they found out that Darling went to Genting with Derick... hmmm... PJ said that he's just treating me as someone who is there for him and that takes the back seat?....

It's true that he takes care of his friends. Hell when my girls are crying over break ups I'm there too! I even go down at night just to find them! When my guy friends are down from their problems I arrange drinking sessions and outings for them. True they aren't very close to me so they won't ask me out nightly to chill and all but then again I'd do it for them if I had to. Hmmm in a way, Ray would probably be the bros before hoes typa guy? I can't say this is foreign to me. AJ was like that too (that's where I got the bros before hoes quote from anyways) but the thing is I hung out with the bros... probably because AJ and his bros met mostly in the day or not into the wee hours? Or maybe because my parents were a bit lax at that time? I'd really like to hang out with Ray and his friends though but it might be due to the age gap, they don't appear to be people who like, play lan, mahjong, paintball or do active stuff like in a group? And they always hang out like till morning so.... =(( Saaaaaad..... Wish they could hang out in the day *mumble grumble grumble* LOL

But seriously, I was too childish in the past to see that having individual lives was a healthy thing and I thought too much. Now I've grown and I'm alright with it. PJ asked me if I was sure I wanted something like this when I am still so young. I admit that I like the lovey dovey feeling but then again I told her, I'm happy if things stay this way. If they do deteriorate then... I definitely won't be too happy.... But heyy!! What did I say? I won't think too much eh =))

Hope he'll miss me like he says he would.... Because I miss him much~ >.<

Maiden attempt at toilet cleaning

Yep to prepare for our guests' arrival I took it upon myself to clean the main toilet. Things were going well, though my mother gave nothing but naggings and scoldings. So I cleaned the counter-top, scrubbed the walls and floor and polished the glass... then the glass shelve in the wet-area came lose from the wall and crashed to the floor.... I got cut....wtffffff










Yupp but I still had to clean the glass up and mom didn't even bother giving advice I had to ask her if we had the dustpan and all... and she didn't bother asking if I got cut. Maybe it's because I went around as if I was alright.... But HONESTLY!!! Arghhhh..... the things I do for family LOL

Shock-de-mas

Thank you Lord for answering my prayers!!! This morning darling said he almost died on the way up to Genting.... WTF!!! And there I was tossing and turning all night having pictures in my head of cras careening off sides of cliffs and crashing into tour buses. Glad I made a long and soulful prayer!!! Shall do so everynight till he gets back then. Malaysian roads tsk tsk....

Went to the gym with PJ and Jess just now woots did some nice cardio and then we went to have Laksa and Bundung -.- LOL ah wells live to eat meh~ hahahhaa
No worries... gonna do some work out later. Will be at home today because mom is busy cooking for the big family get together tomorrow night LOL so I will be cleaning the toilet, walking the dog and doing the laundry. *likes.... NOT hahahaha

My Darling's off to Genting

Humph... darling went Genting.... so last minute.... still expect me to happily give him my blessings -.- HUMPH... I feel sad and was already missing him when I first saw the message how to "give my blessings" happily... When I first sawhe was going I was still ok... then he told me he was going TONIGHT! Shocker balls~

Obviously I wasn't happy lar... which probably caused him to think I was a girl who could not be understanding =( haix... but hey it's not like I told him "YOU CANNOT GO!" Yes I know a lot of girls out there will most probably say that. Either that or they will start threatening that if he goes they won't want to be with him when he gets back and all that. But I didn't choose to say those words what. Let him go, but how was I to mask my emotions?? So I gave real short replies, what was I supposed to do?

Not a lot of guys would have been as nice as darling though. A lot of them would be like, oh she said enjoy the trip who cares if she happy or not just enjoy la. At LEAST darling picked up that I was unhappy... heehee <3

I know I know, some girls out there will be like, MEL WHY YOU NEVER STAND YOUR GROUND?! YOU SHOULD JUST TELL HIM NOT TO GO!! But heyy... it's not like he suddenly plan to go there by himself. His frend Derick has been down and out for awhile... Yes yes I know they have been meeting up every night more often than he meets me anyways but heck the guy just broke up la give him a break!! There is something about me- when I have a boyfriend, his friends become my friends too. And I want my friends to be happy. So I try to put myself in their shoes (Verstehen, Sociology!!) and I know Ray would like his friend to be happy so when Derick jio he will want to accompany him too what. The fact that he even told me about it and not just up and left is commendable enough I guess.

Aaaaaand I didn't know Derick was the one replying my messages -.- he must have found me a very weird girlfriend... haix... but I really was a tad unhappy what. Mel is always like that. Unhappy but want to do the right thing so always having inner conflict... I'm gonna have a stroke one day... lol

Ah wells. Now I'm only worried about Darling driving there... it's so late now... Gonna pray that he gets there and back safely...
Love you darling<3

Dinner with Kim~

Met up with the girl finalleh!! She came back from Aussie FINALLEH!! Haha... went to Novena Sq to mumm mumms at Waraku Pasta!! She got the Salmon n Roe soup based pasta(if I am not mistaken) and I got the Seafood Pasta (yes boring I know but the squid ink will so blacken my teeth laaa) LOL

This is the first time I spent so long at the dinner table just eating and chatting =)) So happy that she isn't like my other friends who scoff at me and Ray. Thankies for your support babe~ =))

Hope to meet up with the rest of the girls soonish~

Thoughts

Went out with darling today after a 3-day stint of not seeing him~ Poor darling was tired today... well he DID sleep at 6am.... poor darling only got max 4-5hrs sleep I guess =(( Make me feel so guilty for seeing him... Sometimes I wonder if I am just an added responsibility to him >.< I really don't want to be that. I really don't want to be something that he HAS to accomodate in his life, something that he will want to dispense of should there be added responsibilities such as school etc... But then again, there was someone who made me feel so indispensible yes disposed of me the moment he found his fun in Uni so... I know I've told myself time and again Ray is different and I should not expect or let my past affect me now because this is something else... Yet there are times when I feel emotionally weakened... Maybe it's the PMS haha or maybe...

It's the lack of support from my friends? I don't understand. I should be fine without their support. All throughout my relationship with Jerome they saw me as the bad person, the one being at fault, not realising that the person crying everynight was me and not him. They went to the extent of telling me, their friend, not to bully a "good" guy like him. I won't deny he was a good guy, he just had this bad side that he showed only to me...
And here I have friends, some who are my closest questioning my decisions. I've told them and myself time and time again that this is my choice to make. Who I love and what I do are ultimately up to me. But for them to use inception, albeit unknowingly, is not helping. I used to seek opinion from the masses about these issues. Now I find I am learning to shun from them because I know that after what happened before, most of them know SHIT about what was good for me. I know what is good for me. So the person I should listen to should be myself.
I've got friends who seem to be expecting my to break up anytime soon. I have some who tell me that relationships starting in clubs won't last. Then they ask for my support when they are going out with some other guy and THEY appear too blind to see that the guy is REALLY not that good a guy for themselves and here they are telling me stuff like that?? Ray is a better guy than the guy they choose ANYTIME!

I know the feelings I feel for Ray are real and they mean a lot to me. This is no puppy love, this is no infatuation. It's something deeper than that. Thus I really want things to work out for us =))

I've said this before, some people date first then get together. Others get together first then date. There is no right or wrong when it comes to love; people go by feeling, because that is EXACTLY what love is, a feeling. The only thing is, I fear to talk to him about my fears in the relationship that are mostly put into my head by my friends. I'm afraid he might thing "Why is this girl thinking so much?" and "Wow we only just got together and she's giving so much problems." So I bottle a lot of things up. I was used to talking at night before bed to my past boyfriends and it was a bonding thing. Yet with Ray we don't talk at night because he is with his friends. And I don't like to call him and make him talk because I don't think it very nice for a guy to say to his friends "Hey give me awhile I have to talk to my girlfriend." The fact that he is mostly nocturnal kinds of make everything a little different for me but I guess I can cope with it.
I keep telling myself:
Don't expect and you won't be disappointed.
Don't think too far, live and enjoy the now.
These phrases have become mantras for me to live by.

I want a long term relationship. He told me he wanted it too. So now, all we have to do is trust. I'm afraid to plan too far ahead now because he's not ready (who will be with just 3 weeks into the r/s?? DUH!) and because planning so far so fast usually leads in disappointment. I guess the past two have given me a lot of baggage. Baggage I thought I had gotten rid of. The fact is I haven't gotten rid of the fears but I know how to overcome them. I just don't need additional help to heap more fears onto me -.- Friends ask me if I plan like really far ahead (like walking down the aisle) and I find that I tell them to stop with all these because it's only 3 weeks omg! They give me the look that shows doubt. I don't think I'm the gullible little girl who thought of prince charming anymore. But why do they think that I should be thinking of marrying him already?? And when I say that we've not talked about it, they use it as leverage to show that they don't think the r/s will last. WTF?? GROW UP GIRLS!!! For someone to say "I wanna marry this person" after less than a month of knowing them, it's rather obvious that it is an impulsive decision. I want to enjoy the process of getting to know my boyfriend as well as learning the best way to love him thank you very much!

I find that this relationship is exactly what I was talking about when I talked about the healthy relationship:
The man and woman in a relationship are in love. They are however two seperate individuals and are not an entity bound at the hip. Two human beings bound at the hip will only face a lot of conflict in the long run as humans need their own space too. Thus, a couple should be two seperate individuals but share a common love for each other.
A relationship should not mean that one cannot leave the house without the other. Neither does it mean that they cannot talk or interact with anyone other than the two of them. That is NOT healthy. Each must have their own support groups like friends and family and what they should do is intergrate themselves to get to know the other party's support groups, and not seal their loved one from the support groups.
Although I feel that this is the ideal healthy relationship, I must admit I still pine for the honeymoon period of "just the two of us" and this is the reason why in the previous post I said that I think the honeymoon period seems to be over. However, I am very well contented if things stay this way throughout the relationship because as I have stated this is the ideal relationship. I'd rather skip the "just the two of us ONLY" few months and have a long and healthy relationship with many little "just the two of us" times, than have a very very sweet 3 months honeymoon and when the transition back into society happens things fall apart because the two are used to being bound at the waist.

I see myself being able to go far with Darling and I won't give up. Not now, not ever. And heck whoever wants to try to rule my life because it isn't their's to rule. It is mine and I can make things happen.

Muay Thai XVI

I've been lazy haha haven't updated the last Muay thai session at Cairnhill. But here goes. Last Sunday I finally went for Muay Thai after a 2 week break due to my right foot. I've never felt so alive. Yes I did injure my achilles/ ankle area walking to training but it was fine. I did two sets, one extra, of what Coach Jason told us to do. But first we had skipping and stretching. I think I got a good rope cos it was lighter and easier to skip with. We had normal shadow and stance practice though and after that we had pad work. We did one-two punches as well as shin kicks for 30s. Then we had circuit sets of 10 secs each for 5 sets. We did one-two power+agility punches, knees, elbows and shins. I Did the extra set on the punching bag that gave me the injury haha.... I really saw that my form was getting better! My shin kick carried the stance and power I was looking for and though my right shin kick was weakers as I was favouring my injury I know I can do well with it now =)) Can't wait for Sunday as Thursday's training is cancelled. =)) Whheeees LOVE MUAY THAI!!!

Watched Harry Potter courtesy of Nicole yesterday~ Basically Saturday was school and school haha... But Ray came over to pay school fees and waited in school till after my lecture so we can go for the movie straight. LOL..

On the way out I was faced with the question on why I said the honeymoon period is over when he doesn't feel this way. Hmmm... I guess there are times when I'm emo? There are times when people are a bit quieter or colder I guess and I tend to not be used to it? My friends have been asking me about him. And I guess I've come to the conclusion that there are two types of starts for relationships. One is when a party likes another and they chase the person until a period of time after courtship where they decide to get together. Another is when both parties want to be together and they get together and start the dating. The only difference is the status put upon each other and the time that it is laid down and that dating has no strings attached unlike when one goes into a relationship.

You can say we are getting to know one another now and we're obviously going through the second option. I can say that I've been chased (albeit within a short time), and I've also been through sweet honeymoon periods. Both scenarios are different but are sweet nonetheless. Being chased does not imply I like the person back so whether he calls me, smses me or whatever, it doesn't really bother me. Then i had relationships where we call each other every night and sms each other through out the day. Even when the honeymoon period was over this still occured. I guess things like this gave me a sort of expectation, and when these are no fulfilled I draw a huge question mark or blank.

I have made it my motto to not expect and if good things happen they are bonuses, when they do not, then so be it. For my first, I expected his sweetness throughout and it was only up to the end where it slowly fades did things really get ugly. For the second we seemed to have the expectation that we'd always be there 24/7 and that we'd be getting married (haha...) and it was when we were not there for each other that we felt the pain and we started to be unsure of the getting married plans. Thus I conclude that if I have too many expectations, things will get ugly when they are not met.

Of course I am not saying I do not have expectations. I am just saying I am trying not to have them and when they do arise too strongly I tend to tape them back down. I do not want to carry the expectations rendered me from my past relationships to this relationships as Ray is a totally different guy from the other two. The lack of future plans for us in his head would be totally unnerving if I were to be stuck in my past mindset. That he doesn't call me would be queer too if I were still stuck back there. These thoughts do occur to me now and then but I always remind myself, this is a different guy, do NOT bring the past into the present.

For someone to really enjoy a relationship, they would have to let go of their past ones. Because no two men or women are the same. Then open up their minds so that they can enjoy the present relationship.

Think I have to start doing what I did before, whenever I am down, I'll ask myself what does Ray do to make me feel loved. And he really does quite a bit! =)) Time to update my list of why he's so awesome~

Went to Bugis St with darling just now~ =)) bought two dresses (a short one and a maxi) and a blouse! =)) Darling got a nice shirt and we chose a nice pair of Pedro shoes for him =))Darling came to school for his schoold fees today so he picked me up too and we went to hougang for me to get my hair trimmed =)) Went to Bugis after that and though I found it hard to shop there given the difference in crowds there Darling did help me feel better heehee~

Gonna go for a wardrobe make over =)) Gonna be more feminine while Darling becomes more metrosexual hahaha =)) Have to be more confident though. After 2 weeks of no training I've become flabby!! Time to kick up the dust and start my Muay Thai =)) Then won't lose out to the girls who are going to be attracted to darling when he goes school hahaha

It's been a week. And the feeling is like the honeymoon period is over. This is the fastest I've ever been through mann... I don't mind if things are like this later on but if it dwindles any more than this I don't think I'll be able to take it? It's just kinda weird? When we're together, I feel like we're together but when we're not it feels like I'm single? It's weird but it's true that we should have our own lives outside a relationship and this is the mature thing to do. Yet I miss feeling special in a way... hmmmm

Like I said, sometimes I am paranoid. And at the end of the day I find out that all my fears were uncalled for. It is these fears that build the monsters that finally consume us and we turn back and say "hey I knew it was going to happen" when in fact we made everything happen. Self fulfilling prophecy.

Today went with darling for some Honda forum photoshoot. It was raining heavily after lunch. We dashed out of the MacDonald in the rain and for a moment it was queer because we held hands but we were running... in the rain.... HAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAA....

Ok after that laugh, things seem more normal haha.. But yes we were wet and the windows and all were misty so we had to have the air condition on and it was freezing... LOL We were both wearing Metal Mulisha t shirts that Darling bought =)) And mine was kinda thin but ah wells I survived!! We went to meet the convoy going down to the flyer area. Went there and it was raining so we parked and we went to seek shelter and all that.... We actually spent a good 2 hrs or more waiting for the photoshoot and for the latecomers and all. Met some of darling's friends and spent the time there stoning, squatting, watching darling smoke and playing his iPhone games haha....

After the photoshoot, we went to meet some of his other friends and watched them do plank drifting =)) exciting!! Darling is cool!! Hahaha what else can i say. But after the activity his car was dirty so we went to the car wash to get it hosed and soaped down. He sent me back after that and all.

Today I was kinda worried when he changed his profile pic to a solo picture and it's like not even 1 week yet? Feel like... he's getting more distant as I start to warm up to him? Hmmm... or was he always like this? But he assures me he loves me and all that. I hope I am not wrong about him. I really do feel like I'm falling hard for him. Want this to last. =))

Paranoia

Sometimes I get frightened by silence because I don't know what the other person is thinking. When I am unhappy or have thoughts weighing on my mind, I tend to keep quiet and hence I think that other people would do the same...

Maybe I was mistaken... maybe it's not always the jovial persona that was a fixed structure, like I thought it was, maybe the actual persona is quieter? When emotions have settled, the persona becomes what it originally was. But ain't it a bit fast? What is going on? In this week itself, there seems to have been changes which have been rather drastic. I guess this is the first time I saw the jovial persona as quieter? Hmmmm...

Thoughts run through my head.... what if, like what I fear the most, the person's feelings for me are dying out? Hmmmm.... why is it always such, as I learn to love the person more, the person pulls away? Or seems to pull away? Is this my paranoia? Someone please let me know the truth....

Today I went to the Chinese Tie Da doctor.... my right foot's outer two bones keep getting out of alignment and I am not to do exercise to aggravate it for 1 month.... Means... NO MUAY THAI!!! =((((( This is the saddest shit ever!!! Coupled with the fact that I can't hear, have a horrid cough and stuffed nose!!!

The only good thing that happened today was that Darling Rayray came to take me out. He drove down from home after his reservice to fetch me from school~
We went to Far East to have dinner (chiken rice) and then drove, or rather stressed, our way through the jam to get to the Singapore Flyer =)) Had a coughing fit in the flyer though >.< and Darling decided to take me to the doctor. So we went down to Clementi Ave 3 area to the Q & M 24hr clinic hahaa.... Darling treats me well, taking it as his responsibility =)) And he sure is responsible =))

Saw a senior at Clementi and for awhile I was rather anxious because I wouldn't know if J was going to be there... but... didn't see him and all and Ray was with me all the way so it's cool.

Things were rather quiet today... I really couldn't hear well and so I wasn't exactly in a spectacular mood... Fear and insecurities keep coming into my mind... What if I was boring him? We didn't talk much in the car, nor did we talk much in the flyer... >.< will that make him feel like we do no have common topics? I read somewhere that couples need not stress themselves over a need to have similarities and all because what's important is that they love each other and differences can be fuel to the sparks between them because who would want to stick with someone just like them, it's like dating yourself... LOL But still.... I'm afraid that he finds me boring and in the end... what if I am just another responsibility to him?

I really do love him... these negative thoughts... must be PMS or something... I really hope he doesn't feel that way about me. I really wanna jut accept it when he tells me he loves me... But I'm scared.... what if...? =((

Mel you must be stronger... if you really love him you have to work for it... no point mopping around. Time to fan the flames because in a relationship it takes two hands to clap and two hands to keep the flames between them roaring =))

It's been quite a long time since I last heard that someone will be there for me backing me up, helping me reach my goals, and being my pillar of support. =)) Thankies darling =)) Miss him so much even though it's only been a day of not seeing him. But then again I am happy we both have lives outside of our world. I read somewhere that it is healthier when two people have their own lives to fall back on but when the both of them are together they should make the best out of the time they have with each other =)) I guess it's true =)) I really can't wait to see darling again =)) wheesss and talking to him on the web cam is sweeeeeeeeeeet =)) he really looks so handsome in all angles =)) heehee~~

Thought I was stronger than this...

OMG... I thought I was stronger than this.... argh the first few times when I saw the pics I thought they were cute together but after awhile I think a wall caved in... -.-... gey kiang.... idiot la.... even doing 10 push ups also cannot calm me down this spam typing is the only way I can calm myself down....MEL CAN YOU PLEASE PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER???

Don't even know why I feel this way... annoying... it's not like last time where I feel I'm not as pretty or what... ok there is still this part which makes me feel this way but there is this emotion that I don't know how to explain... Other than buay song.... seriously also dunno whyyyy arrrrggghhh Tomorrow I'm going to murder the punching gears >.<

Your Love Is My Drug =))

Maybe i need some rehab

or maybe just need some sleep

I got a sick obsession

I'm seein it in my dreams

I'm lookin down every alley

i'm makin those desperate calls

i'm stayin up all night hopin hitin my head against the wall



what you got boy, is hard to find

i think about it all the time

im all strung out my heart is fried

i just cant get you off my mind!



because your love your love Your Love Is My Drug

your love your love your love

your love your love your love is my drug

your love your love your love



wont listen to any advice

mommas tellin me i should think twice

but look into my own devices, im addicted its a crisis

my friends think ive gone crazy

my judgments gettin kinda hazy

My esteem is gonna be affected if i keep it up like a love sick crack head



what you got boy, is hard to find

i think about it all the time

im all strung out my heart is fried

i just cant get you off my mind!



because your love your love your love is my drug
[ Your Love Is My Drug lyrics from
http://www.lyricsyoulove.com/k/kesha/love_is_my_drug/ ]
your love your love your love

your love your love your love is my drug

your love your love your love



i dont care what people say

the rush is worth the price i pay

i get so high when your with me

but crash and crave you when you leave



hey, so i got a question

do you wanna have a slumber party in my basement'

do i make your heart beat like an 808 drum

is my love your drug' your drug'

hi, your drug'

hi, your drug'

is my love your drug'



because your love your love your love is my drug

your love your love your love

your love your love your love is my drug

your love your love your love



because your love your love your love is my drug

your love your love your love

your love your love your love is my drug

your love your love your love



hey, heyy, sooo

you love, your love your love, is my drug

Why my boyfriend is so awesome

The list is not exhaustable.

1) He says the sweetest things
2) He always tries to reassure me
3) Whenever I need him he'll be there
4) He's willing to make a lot of sacrifices for me
5) He's HAWT behind the wheel
6) He's my best Econs tutor ever!
7) He's cool with respecting my freedom
8) He encourages me to strengthen my family ties
9) He dares to tell me he misses me
10)He bothers about what I tell him
11)He's ok with holding hands any way I like it
12)He's ok with holding my bag
13)He cares for me when I'm sick
14)He tells me to study
15)He dares to be exclusive
16)He untagged himself in couple shots with his ex even when I didn't tell him to cos he cared
17)He tells me that I'm pretty =))
18)He reassures me that he will love me long long and that he doesn't want another <3
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Pressie from darling =))

Darling just dropped by with a pressie for me <3 Here are some shots I took with it for him =)) haha My darling is really very very nice lor haha Was quite shocked when he asked for the width of my shoulders just now haha











Fits just nice!! Haha... I really need t-shirts hmmm is this an indication that he doesn't like to see me in tank tops? Hahhahaa Will tone up and buy new tops thats for sure!!! =)) Hmmmmm I wanna get something for darling too... but.... hmmmm dunno what.... though I already have something in mind for him this Christmas =P but then again Xmas is sooooooooooo far away.... hmmmm gotta think of something!!!

Cough Cough.... I'm with Ray..... PERIOD!

Aaaawww when will my cough go away??? Was coughing throughout lecture today... Am kinda pissed of at how some people keep telling me "You're too fast la", "What about the other guy you said was too fast?", "You say one thing, do another", "Thought you don't want to get into a relationship le?", "You met him in a club????", "You shouldn't have put the change on facebook so fast, what if..." and so on and SO FORTH!!!

What the #$%^ seriously!!??
Firstly, what's up with the too fast?? I was over my ex the night he dumped me.

What about the other guy? I just don't feel the same for him that I feel for Ray.

I say one thing then do another? Exactly what did I say?? That I won't get together with Ray??

Thought I don't want arelationship? I did say that but I hadn't met anyone worth going into a r/s at that point in time now did I?? So I wasn't going to rush into go looking for one!

Yes I met him where the music flows. So what?? We didn't get together in the club!! It's like friends bringing a friend to the beach for an outing and you meet the only difference is the place. It's not like he's a lone wolf going fishing in the club and I happen to meet him wth..

And about the relationship status, it was a mutual agreement. If the people who were talking about it was thinking that by doing so I would hurt my ex or whoever who had an interest, I really have no idea why they would even bother caring about the past of someone else?? And what's there to fear man??? A friend told me what if I don't last long in this r/s and I have to change the status back? Hello, I don't enter a relationship with an end point in sight. When I go in the time limit will be eternity. I want to be with Ray all the way and I DO mean ALL THE WAY everyone get the picture?? So no I DON'T CARE about all these!!

I just feel I have to write everything out because I keep repeating stuff here and there and it get sickening and tiresome!!! I'm with Ray! PERIOD! So either be happy for me and support me if you're a friend or suck it up if you're not. Snide remarks will not be tolerated and NO ONE is going to put doubts in my head. Not now not ever!!

~Loving my awesome to the skies boyfriend~

JackAss 3D with Darling RayRay

Darling took me to watch JackAss 3D today!!! Got in even though it's R21 =)) wore darling's jacket in! Darling picked me from One Raffles Link after I had lunch with Jo and Nicole and we went to Shenton Way area for an errand. Went to buy tickets at Vivocity right after and darling ate at Carls Jr while I did an econs question hahahaa =)) Went back to darling's place to get his thumbdrive and darling cooked my instant Ramen LOL he was fretting that I didn't have anything else to go along with it =P but Hey I just love instant noodles what to do hahaha.... went back to vivo for the movie after which darling drove me home. Loved the ride!!! =)) Darling keeps wowwing me with everything he does =)) and his driving is definitely superb haha =) Wanna take more pictures with darling soon!!!!

~Loving my super cool and hawt and nice and sweet and awesome boyfriend~

Loving my Ray of sunshine

I know I said no more whirlwind. But when things happen, they happen =)) And no I do not believe in love at first sight... until now =)) We-ell it wasn't even love at first sight but it was an attraction that led to oomph feelings =)) Some people might be skeptical. Others might be like omfg. There might be others who think that I'm a bitch. But hey people, shit happens and it ain't happening to me. I know I'm gushing but.... I haven't had someone make me feel this way in a long long time =)) And definitely no one who makes me feel this special =))

Is this impulsive? It definitely is. But Mel has never been impulsive and regretted it cos I always know what I want when I do it on impulse anyways. Haha =)) Feeling waaaaay too happy =))

Butter Factory < 3

Went to butter last night with Simon, Ray, Jeremy and guest appearence of both Eds hahahaa.... S's car is uber cool la... I was expecting a preleude to the club in his car but what we got wcould have the club if there was space mann hahahah His music choices rule! Met Rey there and we walked ALL THE WAY from One Fullerton to Lau Pa Sat for me to draw $$ -.- lol I was in HEELS lol but it's okie. Went back in time to meet Jeremy and we managed to get in even though I was underaged... They checked Jeremy, ironically, even though he was the oldest among us hahaa and woots we got in, opening a bottle of Chivas =)) the music started slowly though but I loved the Raggae beat; that really got me going. As usual, S wowed with his moves and then his 'shifu' came down too hahhaha nice shuffling mann. Ray and Jeremy weren't bad themselves. =)) The Eds came over and we drank a bit then we we seperated and went to the dance floor. Ray was real nice haha what you would call a club gentleman haha. Some others can't dance very well and all haha... Argh I thought it would be hard juggling this many guys in the group but the three guys were fine, though some other people felt left out. Hmmm I look forward to clubbing with them again maybe ZoukOut heehee dunno if they will let a noob like me enter with them man hahaha ah wells will see how bah =))

Muay Thai XV

Today I didn't do much due to injury however, we did learn some grappling tricks from trainer R. Basically a lot of losing balance and tilting one elbow up and swinging down on the other side. Kneeing was also done lol... Was more focused on the collection of cake. Today is Russell's Bday so we decided to celebrate the birthday of the babies of the three months term hahahhaa wheeeeeeeeees can't wait for Sunday training!!! =)) I so miss it. Have been dieting of late, cutting down my meals and all to compensate for the lack of exercise. =))

Aren't things going a bit too fast? It's really starting to scare me... yet.... I know I'm not ready.... what should I do?

A special trip to the doctor's

I went to the doctor's today. This is the first time I went to the doctors WITHOUT my parents. They're angry at me again so they are not going to bring me. Instead of waiting and letting my foot go crooked like I did the last time I took things into my own hands and I went by myself. Well... not entirely by myself. A friend went with me. H was real nice! I didn't know the first time we would meet would be him fetching me to the doctors LOL... The doctor set my foot quite well. Itwas crooked at the last two toes before but now it's alright =)) We went for lunch at AMK hub =)) Had Subway and the healthy him had the chicken breast while I had the unhealthy Italian BMT LOL.... Was about to see him off for his gym and go meet E but in the end he went with me to Plaza Sing where we walked and I dunno how but we wandered all the way to Cathay where we watched The Last Exorcism... Yes I caught it again... -.- LOL but it was nice.... a different feeling... I've not felt so at ease at the movies with a guy for a LONG now and this was a nice change. I missed that feeling... the feeling that you didn't have to care about anything and just watch the show....that an arm would be there when you're scared or that a hand will be on your knee to comfort you, yet you didn't HAVE to do anything else. I liked that type of feeling.... I miss it... that feeling is.....like.... safe.... I felt safe.... I haven't felt that way in a long time....

Muay Thai XIV

Am currently nursing a swollen right foot. Kicked the punch bag wrongly during circuits when we were having fighter training at Cairnhill. It wasn't that bad at first Iwas just limping slightly. But now the whole foot is swollen =(( I was supposed to do low shin kicks. My left leg was fine but my right leg just couldn't do it right and the instep kept hitting the bag. I hit it once and I felt a sharp pain but I decided to carry on. The next kick was just fine but then suddenly I kicked and my foot connected with the bag and I knew I would not kick with my right leg anymore. It was that painful.

Think the blood clotted when I went to chill just now... hmmm am icing it and massaging it but even moving my toes hurts the foot =((

Well today during the normal training, we did a hell lot of pad work. We started with jabs, punches, one-two punches, cross, vertical elbow, cross elbow, diagonal elbow, knees and shin kicks for about 30s each activity. Then we had to do combinations 10reps per combi. Then we did anoter set and we did double shin kicks as well. We also do shin kicks left-right 20 and ended off with shin kicks 1-12, the no. of kicks the same as the set we were doing. We were tired after that mann hahaha BUT it was GREAT!!

After the circuit training during fighter training, Coach L thought us the first few parts of the Waikrhu.
1) Before we enter the ring, we kneel at the stairs and bow, scooping some earth energy and capping it onto our heads.
2) We move to the middle of the rope and put our hands in a praying gesture, then smoothen them out to the sides caressing the top rope, doing this motion thrice.
3)Enter the ring by pressing the ropes down, stepping in first and onto the bottom rope then going in with the other leg.
4) Face the head judge, and apply pressure on the front leg and bow; bow to the four sides of the ring like so in a clockwise manner.
5) Head to your corner of the ring and pray for blessing at the corner. Then bend your front leg slightly and jab(right hand) the pillar three times moving upwards, on the third bringing it up in a flourish.
6) Slide the right hand on the rope as you walk to the next pillar and do the same untill all four pillars have been prayed to. Advance to the middle of the next rope and move to the centre of the ring.
7) Circle a spot three times and finally kneel down. (Right leg in front, left knee goes down first.)
8) Bow forward scooping up earth energy and bring it to your heart, head and form a diamond shape while looking upward.
9) Place the left hand on the floor as you raise the right up in a twist to the right and look at the right. Bring it down to join your left to form a triangle/diamond on the ground and touch it with your forehead.
10) Bring the right arm back up again and then bring it to join your left at the chest. Repeat this once more. Stand up.

Hope to learn more. This is highly symbolic for me and I love the way we show respect to the ring and elements like so. Hope my foot will get better soon so that I can go down for Thursday's training! Won't go for Tuesday's I guess. But I wanna train again soon =))