Dashed

Today was supposed to be the first time we went out since he went into hostel. Things have been real hectic for him and all that.... what with outings etc every other night.... so today I was quite happy that we would be going out. It would also give me a chance to talk to him and... ya.... but in the end... we talked less than 10 sentences. Why? Because in the end, a friend asked us to go play LAN and I couldn't bring myself to say no. I asked him to talk to AJ and apparantly AJ was for it.... things hadn't gone well from the start, I culdn't reach AJ after school because of the poor reception in his hall then we took the wrong bus and all so from going down to his hostel he had to come meet me.... we planned to go town but obviously the plan failed.... we went to AMK for LAN. I found out only just that we were suiting each other- I wanted to have a movie with him alone but thought he wanted to play with his friend and he thought I was ok with the LAN... I don't know.... I really don't know what to type anymore. I had thought maybe during dinner, we could talk... but he left early for his Hall dinner. I'd told my mother I wasn't eating at home but I'm home now because I have no choice. As a girlfriend I see him much less than his friends do... what else can I say, what else can I do? I'll just take it as it is then.. he doesn't have to know these stupid little things... no one does. Mel you shoukld learn to be a little more selfish, to care for your own interests, to say no when you have plans and don't want to do something.... he said he'll call me tonight after his hall stuff... but hey his friends will be heading down tonight to have a catch up session (although I need it more than they do).. I can't go... my parents won't allow it... what else can I do but wait at home and hope he remembers me? They say girlfiends should know when to fade into the back ground.... I guess I'm fading ... fading... fading... when will he pull me back?


~Wondering if there are keyboards that are tears-resistant~