Sensitivity in a relationship

Is it right to be sensitive? I would think so. However, is it right to be too sensitive? Then again, who knows when one is being too sensitive? We all hear of what people would call "woman's intuition". Does that mean that men do not have this intuition as well? And also, are women's intuition always correct and far more superior to men's?

Many people will believe the following:

Sensitivity can aid a relationship. It can also cause the relationship to fall apart. The key is the amount of sensitivity. Of course the two extremes of too little and too much will cause the negative effect on the relationship. Thus, a balance is needed.


I am not saying it is totally wrong, of course everything in moderation is good. However, I think it will be a wiser thing to focus on something else: TRUST.

Human beings are selfish creatures by nature with compassionate hearts (a paradox, I know). Sensitivity is a way of protecting ourselves. The sensitivity in a relationship can be seen in another form in a hunter's reflexes when he is hunting or when a member of a SWAT team is going in through the back door of a wanted criminal's house. Thus I would like to argue that sensitivity IS good for us.

However, we must also remember that in a relationship, one of the most important factors is TRUST. If the basic trust is not there, how can you share the bed with your other half, how can you eat the food your other half prepares, how can you believe a single word the other person says to you?
It is foolish to say that we can only choose to take one (sensitivity or trust)at any one time.
1) Sensitive + No Trust = Suspicion
2) Not Sensitive + Trust = Nonchalance
3) Sensitive + Trust = Blind acceptance
4) Sensitive + Trust + Open Communication = Ideal Relationship
However, many people are stuck at (1) and (2). (3) is rare because we have been programmed by society not to believe in people too easily. (4) is difficult too because of the same reason as number (3). Thus the main issue here is not sensitivity, it's trust.

Trust is the main ingredient for a successful relationship. MUTUAL TRUST is the ingredient for a successful AND happy relationship. When there is trust, we will be able to curb our volatile and instinctive actions of interrogation when we are sensitive. Interrogation is NOT open communication. In fact it closes doors to communication because the interrogator already has preconcieved notions and will not put them down easily and the person being interrogated feels threatened and may not give the truth willingly.

When one is sensitive, if we trust, we will want to know what is wrong. When we do not trust we TELL ourselves something is wrong. We will not want to KNOW what is wrong we want to CONFIRM that something is wrong. When this mindset sets in, nothing the other party says can fully change our perception of the issue. A man would want a wife to ask him if there is something wrong, not accuse him of being an adulterer.

TBC...