I was tired. My eyes were shutting. I wasn't feeling good aka bad mood because of the fatigue. No hug. Jut annoyance that I wasn't happy straight away when I saw him or tell him what was wrong instantly after he asked. I'd brushed away the morning's stupid almost there arguements but heck they're coming back up anyways. If he had asked "Why did you sms me when you woke up?" And I'd said "Because I didn't wanna disturb your sleep." I'd be countered with a "As if a sms will wake me or disturb my sleep." This time it was another way round but I just shoved it under a rug all for the sake of him having a driving test soon and I didn't want an arguement hanging over his head.
I was tired and I knew I was late because I told him I wanted to be there waiting for him right after his driving test. I took a cab down. I waited for him and my eyes were closing. Coupled with the wound that was this morning when he was so cold and not understanding and in a way accusing.
I was told, after him being frustrated at me being cold and apparently ignoring him, that "I shouldn't have come. Next time don't come and meet me if you're going to treat me this way. You should go home." Yep I had enough. I had to have dinner home. But I was willing to say let's just go home and walk the dog then we go get dinner together. Yeah the tone wasn't nice. Just a tired and not in a very good mood bitch. But hey, I compromised for whom? I had to get this impatience which wasn't there when we first got together?
Today was the day he wasn't behind me when I walked away. Consistant with how his actions and mannerism has been going down hill recently. But then again, I can't say that this walking away was the same as those that I did a long time back. This time I felt I had to get away from this guy who was obviously aggressive, abusive and downright not being understanding or patient. I've had enough. The last straw came when he sent the message saying "Who needs you anyway?" Yup harsh. I was disappointed he could even say those words and I told him how I felt with tears in my eyes as I typed them
but ummm... I received a spiteful reply saying he was disappointed with my actions.
As of now, no manner of reconciliation from his side has been coming. Yup open up how you feel to get a spiteful reply. Everytime we lose contact during an arguement, I am the one who calls back to start the talk again and when we talk we resolve the crisis we're in. After what he told me about not needing me? Well he doesn't need me in his life, nor needs me to call him to resolve anything. When I let slip that one time with the word "Hate" and he left me, it cleared up with me calling him to come to me to settle things with me. I called. I've always called. But now I know, he didn't need me to call anyway.
I'm not needed people!! Now who needs me? I'm free to lend you a listening ear or shoulder because the person I was reserving them for doesn't need them anymore.
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