It's so weird how so many people are asking me where my boyfriend is. Alright this is not the weird bit. The weird bit is people like Louis, who's not THAT close to me saying that my boyfriend always happens to be in Malaysia... Alright...
Today I was asking around to see who would want to go out because I was so uber bored. The thing is for everyone who I asked they will ask me where my boyfriend is and all I could say was that he was away in Malaysia... Awkward yes... but ah wells. Then Louis and I were planning a Muay Thai movie thingy with the rest and the turn out doesn't sem good so I asked him if he would rather watch it with his girlfriend instead and he asked about my boyfriend. And when I told him my boyfriend was in Malaysia he mentioned that it seems like my boyfriend is always in Malaysia LOL... ah wells... it does seem that way doesn't it? Guess my guy is a friends person; hangs out with friends a hell lot. People who may not understand him may think they are gay from the frequency he sees particular guys everynight LOL...
Ah wells. Have friends who are currently asking me if I'm alright or not and when I ask them why and what do they mean by that they say that I am the girlfriend but...
Hmmm... yeah... that's true... I know to a lot of outsiders it doesn't seem like he treats me like a girlfriend given that we don't meet up as often as fresh couples like Merv&Andrea and PJ&Jonas and all coupled with the fact that he seems to be with friends or going to Malaysia all the time. Hmmmm what can I tell them? "Eh shut the fuck up la and stop putting doubts into my mind!!"? I guess what's holding me up from this barrage of negativity now is that I trust him bah... all I can do is believe I didn't put my faith in the wrong place... =))
Then again... why do I care so much? I guess I do love him bah that's why I do care about how people see us but it's more important to me to know that he cares for me? He asked me what I was lacking today =)) so sweet right? =)) The SMS came as a huge suprise as I didn't expect him to SMS me at all... Turns out he may have to stay a little longer there ah wells... after the first time when he went Genting with friends, I guess I forced myself to accept things as they are le. Since he's so impromptu let him go lor. What can I do? Tie him up meh? Make him think I don't like him to suddenly just up and go? Will that stop him? Nah...
Why do I always give my 100% and put my eggs into one basket each time I fall in love? I guess it's just my way of living. I believe that in every relationship I will give all I have to give so I know I have not shortchanged myself or the other party. Of course I learn from my mistakes but I never fear to give all my love and devotion to my other half. I guess somewhere I have this mother hen who is ready to lay eggs and fill up my basket if I ever do break the eggs in it. But I can't expect everyone to be like that right? Some people just don't dare to love wholeheartedly once they have been bitten. Hope I can show him I'm worth it with time but then again won't keep my hopes up... will just accept him for who he is bah =)) If and when he does see then it's a bonus bah =)) For me this is how I love, I give until there is no more to give because to me that person is worth everything I can give.
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