Miss Independent

Hmmm I recently realised that all these while I've been doing thing like how I did them in the past because, well, I don't know how else to do stuff LOL That's ALL I've been doing for the past 3 years!!

Everyone is different! I keep telling myself that but the essence wasn't taken in full by myself and now it is. Had a talk with the boy that night. Aww he was so nice to send me home when I called him, the sweet darling~

Well we had a talk which almost ended it for us. The Lord have mercy on us. I didn't mean it this way and I wasn't having second thoughts about the relationship in THAT way I was just confused as to what I was feeling really. God for him to say it seems that I need a guy 24/7 really woke me up. Heck I don't NEED a guy 24/7, that freaks the bejesus out of me!! LOL the fact was I was USED to having a guy 24/7 so forgive me if I act as if I need one 24/7.

He told me it was heartbreaking to hear me say I feel neglected and there is nothing he can do about it. I really didn't mean to break his heart... I just thought I should tell him because though the logical side of me knows what he's about the emotional side of me feel neglected. There you go, the reason why I'm in turmoil is because the emotional side is always conflicting with the logical side of me. But darling was superb in bringing out my logical side =)) I love myself when I'm with him LOL because in a way I feel stronger and not so emotional but more logical and when I am logical I make the right decisions.

Logicality came out when he told me he is this way and he loves me for who I am so shouldn't I love him for who he is? Hell yeah, I do love him for who he is! Really, and I ain't gonna try to change him!! Also, I asked him if he needed a girlfriend right now? WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR?? Damn girls keep putting ideas into my head!! ARGH I SHAN'T listen to them no more!! And he told me NO he didn't need a girlfriend but he loves me. And that was the sweetest thing he could have said. I think I was drunk... I said I need want and love him. BUT I have to emphasise that I do not NEED a boyfriend... God I'm more independent than that... But then again... I really DO LOVE this boy~ And with him I feel like I can stand on my own two feet again. Gone is the Mel who relies on people in that way LOL

He told me he could send automated texts like he was reporting strength to me and I was taken aback because though I'd like to know what he's doing I find that all these while I've been doing bo liao things ike what he said texting about what I am eating?? LOL that is seriously unnecessary.

Yes he did say he knows of people who meet like once a week... and that we meet quite often... Nah... I don't think so I know of friends who meet every day but then again he is also right to say that given our circumstances it's hard as he hangs out late at night and I can't. Here I'd like to thank my folks for dishing out shit on me so much so thatI CAN and WANT to hang out late now heehee~

I did tell him I wanted him to compare me but then again I don't. What I want is actually for him to tell me what he likes. I won't change myself for him but I can tweak stuff a bit so that I become a better person. In a relationship as the two people grow they tend to do stuff that suit one another and that's just sweet =)) I ain't asking him to change either but in a way he's also doing stuff for me that's sweet too and that I like. Like after the talk he posted a very sweet song for me on my wall =)) and it was reassuring. I like he way he cares~

ALSO... what I said above... I really hope he doesn't see such words as comparing because well it's not about the other guys it's about how I was in the past. And now that I've grown over the years, I think I'm changing to become a Miss Independent slowly =))

This boy rocks my world. Wouldn't want to ask for anything more than that~