Bought a pack and shared with Yongxin like... two days back hmmm... Tuesday? Only finished it today though. What a bother... how can anyone smoke one pack a day?? LOL Hmmm... all you feel is light headedness...
On Tuesday went to Katong Shopping Centre with Yuxin, Yongxin and Mon. LOL Mon can SING!!! haha... and my two darling cousins went a lil' bit crazy singing their songs and all... heehee sorry to Mon for putting him through that. After that Mon sent us to East Coasr Beach but we stopped at ESSO and I bought the Viceroy and 3 Anchor beers. My cousins and I proceeded to chill and chat by the beach after that. LOL we each spilled our cans one by one hahaa... And yes Mel overcame her fear of lighters HURRAY!!! LOL Actually I'd wanted to see Darling and all and asked if he would pick me up and all but he was at IRC so he didn't want to so I was emo for a bit but my cousins were so fun to hang out with that I asked my folks if I could stay over with them and I got their consent. When I told Darling, well, he did come down after his game to send my cousins back and I went to his place to stay. The scam worked and my cousins and I are safe from our folks yippeees!!
Bought like a toothbrush to leave at Darling's place and all... We had a long chat after that before bed... fitting given that we sorta had a minute quarrel over sms -.- before that and all... Fact was that he'd gone to meet Derick and Roy or something. They see each other everyday so I teasingly said he was dating Derick and he thought I was angry and so it started and all... well... ya he said to let him enjoy his holidays and so I was like go lor... what else can I say... Guys' holidays revolve around friends LOL... So we settled that and he said that he didn't wanna quarrel which was sweet of him but I paused to ponder when he said that if there's anything I didn't like I should tell him because... well I don't want another episode of him thinking I want to end anything.... so how to tell??
Well we did talk things out later in the night and all... him saying that he wants to hang out with friends now and all and we'll see each other more when he starts school anyways so... ya... but if I wanna meet more then we'll meet like twice a week or something... I did tell him that everytime when I ask my friends out they ask why am I not going with my bf and I couldn't find a proper way to explain to them LOL.... ah wells...
Did talk what he did with his ex and all and found that he didn't want to meet daily cos he regretted doing so with his ex and making her dependent on him... High-five to that man... that's what happened with me too what... I'm not asking to meet him everyday... but it would be nice if like from school he going IMM or what just drop by awhile?? But then again he might not have wanted to and my mom would have seen anyways. Ah bother! He was asking what could he do to make me feel like he is serious about us... I feel he is... or more likely I believe he is... It's kinda difficult for me given I tend to think a little too much but then I am trying... I am changing my mindset for him even if he doesn't see it because I LOVE HIM!
The last time he went Genting SUDDENLY with Derick I found it rather... bad... But I did let him anyways right? Now he suddenly, again, says he's going Malaysia for helping out in race and he was going tonight and returning Sunday... and I'm like... ok.... here we go again... So I'll just say a happy goodbye then...what else can I do... refuse to be unhappy though I was for a bit and got my friends to hold the pads so I could do extra shin kicks... But I change my mindset... I believe him and all... yupp can't go holiday with him... hope he enjoys himself there... =))
He wants a Ms Independent? He's got it =)) we virgos change for our partners, well our essence doesn't but our tolerence level is quite high... so there!! I ain't giving up... I hope he doesn't too. And I hope he appreciates it... I told him if he feels the spark ebbing like in his past r/s he should tell... and yes it will hurt and he did stay with her because she touched him... but I really hope... if it happens to us... that he will want to at least try together with me to spark our r/s up again...
I know of a lot of couples who have their sparks extinguish a month or so but they fail to see that its not the spark is gone it's the honeymoon period is over and they are comfortable with each other that's all. A lot of couples can't last over the honeymoon period because they fail to realise in a relationship it's not rosy forever and that the fast and furious love during honeymoon periods do fade and it's when it fades that the relationship really starts because thats how a relationship sails. It may be the case for his ex but he didn't know it and when the impression that the relationship is over, because the honeymoon sparks were gone, came into his mind he just let go and didn't see the possibility of resparking? Hmmm... he has got to understand that part la... How though I don't know... hmmm...
But then again I have faith in this guy. He doesn't want to repeat the mistakes he made in the past and neither do I. So I think we will do this together and explore this road together. I hope he gives me a chance and holds on because I can =)) I believe he's grown up enough to know what love and sparks are... and that sometimes they can be two very different things. Sparks may not be love and love may sometimes lose the sparks but as long as the two people still believe and dare to try, when there is love, sparks can always return =))
Love the boy. Not the crazy-in-love, lovey dovey, fast and furious, sparks frenzy, infatuated type of love that honeymooners go through but more of the I want to know him, I am willing to accomodate him and I want to learn and grow with him type of love. Hope he feels the same way~
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