Insult intellectually

Imagine this.

You are walking down the street when you get knocked into by a girl who is, well, let's just call her uncouth for now. This is what she says

"Eh! You got no eyes ah? Cannot see ah?- and after a slew of vulgarities originating from various dialect groups- You better f%$#ing apologise, bitch!"



Ah. Finally. An English swear word.

And so happens she caught you on a particularly cloudy day. You're injured from training and you do not want to aggravate your injury by giving her a forceful kick to the privates (yes, girls hurt there too). Your mood isn't great and you wouldn't mind picking a fight with her; verbally of course.



"Ah I worry for you my dear girl. You knocked into me, with our heads being, what, barely 3 inches from each other and yet you fail to realise that the two round objects in the sockets of the top half of my face are the very organs, which detect light, and convert it to electro-chemical impulses in neurons."

(If this is said rather quickly, you would most probably be facing a face that looks something like -----> O.O this.)

"Your eyes look alright to me on the surface though, they actually look rather pretty and big. You remind me of the emu, whose eyes are said to be larger than it's brain. Another worry is that you seem to be suffering a form of dysarthria as I can barely make out the gunk which was what you were slurring out the past minute or so of my undesirable encounter with you."



This may illicit a response such as,

"Oh so now you think you can talk ang mo very big is it...." and threats involving brothers and sisters, with no specific blood relations to her inflicting bodily harm on you, follow. There might also be the possibility that she might insult your parents.



To which you may respond,

"I had no idea that I had just eaten Gossamer (he's a looney tune character with red hair). Do not worry I wish to have no other dealings with you or your siblings. I think for that you would have to find a rather good lawyer to settle the battle of inheritence you might be facing in the near future with your siblings when your parents do die of haemorrhages in their central nervous systems or myogenic muscular organs. You may wish to continue exchanging insults or you may want to walk away considering we are already making a scene and that I am as close to calling my lawyer to issue you a letter for the slander you have heaped on me as you are from being sent to the Institute of Mental Health for a psychiatric analysis; in simple English, very close. Of course if you do wish to get physical I will not fight you for then you will be charged for assult and will most probably have to fork out a huge sum to settle lawyer fees as well as compensation for the bodily harm which you did to me. I will now give you some time to think things through, for you obviously suffer from a neurodevelopmental disorder known as Microcephaly. In the mean time I will continue shopping. Do inform me of what course of action you have decided to take once your brain has finished processing the information given you."



Walk away.



OR You could just beat her ass up. Your call. =)