Muay Thai XIII

Went to Cairnhill after a short nap and some instant noodles for muay thai training. Didn't know I was so tired until we did the skipping session. Man I was TIRED!!! LOL... Today we did wuite a bit of padwork and it was quite tiring but as the padwork continued I became less and less tired and became more and more aggressive. There is also one thing about my shin kick- I need to do some kicks as warm up first to get my form before I can do some proper kicks... Hmmm like Alex said my muscle memory is not there yet. I should train more. I can see the kicks forming and when I hit the punch bag some of the kicks were quite nicely done. I must really remember to throw my hip. The problem is when I have a barrier there be it a human body or whatsoever, I tend to control too much when I should be slicing the air. Gotta take note of that. Did some sparring with the guys too. Although coach told them to only aim at the forehead a few blows still got me. Gotta keep my guard up if not I'll be pushed to punch myself. I also have to get my experience down pat for me to get my distance and to be able to judge how my opponent is going to move. I've got much to learn and every training at Cairnhill just makes me fall in love with Muay Thai more and more <3

Nike Human Race (Human Lightsticks)

I swear the glow in the dark Nike shirt clashed with my hair hahaha.... Woke up aroung 0445hrs to prepare to head down for the race at the floating platform area. Wanted to take a bus down but heyy the buses don't come so early so in the end I had to take a cab -.- The taxi driver was nice and greeted me with a nice "good morning" (courtesy puts a smile on everybody's faces). I went down thinking I'd be late but turned out to be the ine waiting for my two friends at the bus stop. Didn't get to change my shirt though so I had to stick with the very fitting S... Note to self: pick women's M next year LOL....

The run was nothing short of what I expected. In fact a big plus was the weather was good!- The haze was no longer as threatening as it was the pass few days. Sometimes I wonder if it's the just organizers who are lucky (F1 and Nike HR) or someone really has the ability to control the weather and all the companies have to do is pay them a huge amount of money to ensure that the weather is friendly on the event day.

Ran with PJ and L... well Mostly with PJ =)) This year was much better. We didn't lose each other and the walks that we took were few and far between. Seems to me like we're getting the hang of it (a lil' late I know but we're getting there). Planning to REALLY RUN next year's Sundown 21km haha I'm so gonna make sure I'm not sick when the even happens. I'm nursing a cough still... damn!! lol...

People have been saying that I've been lookig angry, acting angsty and being plain dao. Hmmmm I guess? Must be all the Avenged Sevenfold songs that I've been listening to haha... But it must also be because of all the stupid childishness surrounding me now adays. I honestly though things would be more mature but things are still as childish as ever. Everything seems to not be what I thought thay would be. Even when it comes to matters of the heart. I've come against walls and I honestly am tired. I was tired of relationships. Now I'm tired of liking people. And honestly if people in my life are going to treat me like fill-ins for their time and all that then why should I let myself be used? Fine if I am free why not but I won't make myself be or arrange my stuff so that they come first. It's just plain stupid because I live for myself and no other people. I thought I'd have learnt that by now. Well better late than never eh? haha... and honestly if people are going to be hot and cold with me, even as a friend.... who the fuck do you think you are? Expect me to be nice to you all the time? No fucking way. You wanna gimme attitude, be sure to receive double back baby. Maybe its the red wave coming. Forgive my angstiness. But doesn't mean I don't show my displeasure that I'm fine with everything. Nope I ain't. Probably I'm also pissed at myself for letting my attention wander. It should be solidly on Muay Thai and studying yet there I am fretting over people who are warped and pure andmeaningless distractions. GOD!! No more!!!
Going for Nike Human race tmw... PSI better be good mann...

Ever had a dream of someone and the next day you actually do see the person? Well it's happening haha. And it's blardy random because the person is not even an aquaintence haha... Also have you ever felt something like deja vu? Where you know you've seen the exact same scene before and you're so sure of it? Usually the feeling goes away after awhile because you soon can't remember what's gonna happen next but for today it actually happened for quite a long while- I could actually look carefully and slowly at the scene and know and tell myself that I've seen this before... weird hahaha

Had a gymming session with PJ just now and mann.... i's either the haze or the flu virus but it sucks!!! I couldn't run long on the treadmill and I decided I didn't want my muscles to grow any bigger than they already were. Was having a HTHT with the babe and we have come to the conclusion that we are stronger now =) I've learnt that no matter what happens in life, in every situation we must come out of it well or even better than before. The winner is chosen when the loser shows and the loser is the person who is a pessimist, who dwells on the past with negativity and learns nothing from the issues that have happened. Sure, I'm not saying that we should forget all unhappy stuff. On the contrary, THINK OF IT. But when thinking of it refrain from the negative feelings and search instead for the lessons and signs that you are now better than you were then. If you think you are no better then BECOME BETTER.

Yes a taiwanese show once had a character say that as long as they have not left the poker table they are still in the gam; if they are not dead they are still in the game of life and thus there is no definite winner. I agree with that. However, I also believe that we can make ourselves winners and champions if we want to because the only person who can really affect us is OURSELVES =)) We must strive to be better and show the world that we've come out of a crisis unscathed and have been reborn like the phoenix which died in the fire.

Alright I'm getting dramatic hahaha....

I've also come to the conclusion that if someone has a bone to pick with you about yourself, you can definitely find a bone to pick with them and WHO ARE THEY TO JUDGE YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE?? Tell those people to really F off and die because no one is going to take me down. Uh-uh!

I've been having thoughts about certain people and life lessons and I really wanna make them into fairy tales so that next time I can read them as bedtime stories to my kids and they will learn life experiences better rather then know that Humpty Dumpty who was an egg sat and fell off a wall -.-

The issues I think of are so striking when they come but when I try to recall them after they have faded away. I'll try to recall some of them....

OKI've clearly forgoteen. I do remember thinking of a story when I saw this guy today.... hmmmm if memory serves me well he's not a person who looks very socially accepted hmmm GOD my memory sucks.... either that or I should write things down more often... Maybe I should bring my notebook everywhere I go LOL and be a real writer like what facebook told me I was meant to be LOL

My eyes are open

I can't believe I missed out on so many cute and great guys out there =)) My eyes are open now and I see the attractive men everywhere. However, admitting they are attractive does not mean I want a relationship with them. If admiring means wanting to have then my house would be packed with lots of stuff from dogs to furniture!! LOL However, I have this rule: Never go for a guy who is not that into you. Why settle for something les when there are so many more out there eh? LOL

Break your heart

Maybe I should make this song my mantra =))

Woah Woah

Now listen to me baby
Before i love and leave you
They call me heart breaker
I don't wanna decieve you

If you fall for me
I'm not easy to please
I'mma tear you apart
Told you from the start, baby from the start.

I'm only gonna break break ya break break ya heart. (x4)

Now listen to me baby
Before i love and leave you
They call me heart breaker
I don't wanna decieve you

If you fall for me
I'm not easy to please
I'mma tear you apart
Told you from the start, baby from the start.

I'm only gonna break break ya break break ya heart. (x4)

Woah woah

Theres not point trying to hide it
No point trying to erase me
I know i got a problem
By doing this behavour

If you fall for me
I'm not easy to please
I'mma tear you apart
Told you from the start, baby from the start.

I'm only gonna break break ya break break ya heart.
I'm only gonna break break ya break break ya heart.
I'm only gonna break break ya break break ya heart.
I'm only gonna break break ya break break ya heart.
I'm only gonna break break ya break break ya heart.

Muay Thai XII

Cairnhill CC training was the BOMB!!!! hahahaa.... honestly, I can see quite a bit of improvement although this is like my 3rd lesson. I remember my first time there and we had something like free sparring. I partnered with a girl who was more senior in the sport with me and all I could do was put the gloves to my face. I didn't dare to drop my guard because of the barrage of punches she was giving me. That was my first contact sparring sort of and it SUCKED!! LOL!! But well today we did quite a bit of that while moving round robin style. Thing is I didn't do anything with her. However, I am picking up some stuff like how to parry and repose, using the fencing terms hahaa... During the fighter training, I also went for a session with trainer R. Although he was tough with the guys, he gave me a lot of chance as I was a girl and it was my first time doing such a session. He did tell me some stuff such as after parrying, I have to repose immediately. However the thing is when I parry his left punch and I attack with my left hand, he will have his arm up to guard himself so it kinda defeats the purpose? And also, I parried by curving his arm down which is kinda a waste as when I asked Coach J, he advised me to just beat the hand off track while blocking your jaw with the other hand and immediately using the hand used to parry to punch in a one motion sense. It was awesome. Also, I learned to move and be limber. When punching, we have to dodge as well and not stay on one spot. My shin kick was also corrected by Coach L. as I seemed to be lifting my striking leg one big round before landing on target. After a few tries with the punch bag I think I got it but I really have to practice or the feel will be forgotten. Not forgotten totally but I will need some time to get the form back like how I am doing now. Can't wait for Thursday training!!! Going to ask coach if we can have some sparring after training!! Wheeeees =))

Tired

Honestly, I'm tired of going after something that seems to be getting further and further away. Like I said, I don't see the point in putting in so much effort something with such a low success rate. And this thing is also very much based on fate so.... let fate do the work then =)) This is different from so many other things because it involves someone else and that someone else has their own karma, fate, life, feelings, emotions etc... So I can't do this thing alone. It's not like fencing where it's yourself, your sword and the opponent on the piste. It's not like Muay Thai where it's the technique yourself and the opponent in the ring. Nor is it like canoeing where it's you, your physical qualities and the long stretch of water in front of you. I will now put my full focus on Muay Thai because in the long run that is where I want to be, a fighter in the ring with myself, my gloves and the fallen opponent in front of me. =))

Muay Thai XI

Today we did quite a bit of padwork. Paired up with a junior so things weren't that streneous. My shin kick sucks again... I can see that I'm slapping the pads.... I've gotta work at it.... really... The consecutive kicks aren't good either... I guess when technique is there, consecutive kicks will have a lil bit of technique left but if the technique is shaky, consecutive kicks will be just a mess.... and Mine is a mess.... I really wanna perfect my kicks... really.... maybe on Sunday I'll go and kick the bags when the others are doing fighter training.... >.<

It Flies By

Not too long back, I was still crying over a love that was not meant to be. I was crying everynight trying to go to sleep happy was like a fantasy, a dream. And then it ended just like that without a warning; oh wait, there was ample warning before that with the tears and the angry cries. It was just that I was too blind to see it. I made my mistakes, I begged for forgiveness. But I guess the love that I had was too little to provide any forgiveness. It provided only torment and anguish, and did not have a heart big enough to accept the flaws like how I tried to live with it's flaws. Enough said. When have I regretted anything in my life? Other than the time I was forced to say I regretted something or face the wrath and sarcasm of the one who said he loved me. Pointless and meaningless words; enough of that.

What is past is past and now and then, yes it is human to remember but it is Melissa to face it in the face, look it square in the eye and say "FUCK YOU TO HELL" because I will NOT let it control me. Time to live life the way I want to live it.

Time passes so fast. And though my heart is healing and is at the 97% mark, I am open to love. And here I am at the crossroads once again. Except this time round I have learned my lesson and I want to take things slowly. It is pointless rushing into something based on the craziness of falling in love. I survived the first 3-4 days of being head over heels, made some rash decisions, none of which were too drastic I hope, and come out of it clear-headed once more. I know what I want and I know what I have to do and being crazy like how I was is not the way. It is true I do not regret anything of my past, but now I am more mature and I should be able to do things better to minimize error and heartache and that is what I will do. Gone is the stage of heady lovesickness and in comes the maturity that I need for a new love. I am willing to wait, for patience is always rewarded. In the meantime, I will continue, knowing what I have to do and try not to give up, like I am wont to do when I view something as having a high chance of being unsuccessful. Because sometimes, when it is too early, you cannot judge the chances of success, it is just too volatile a time to tell.

Muay Thai does help. It makes you think, makes you plan, yet forces you to plan properly within a short period of time. It is nothing like what people descibe it to be-rash and brutish. It trains you to know yourself so much so that in knowing yourself, you know what you can or cannot do, or more likely, what you must do to make sure that you can accomplish something. There is nothing that is impossible, or cannot be done. It only depends on the steps you take to accomplish what you want to get done.

Slowly Mel, because as time flies past, you can stand there and view it at a comfortable pace and assess what you want with your life.

Muay Thai X

It's been quite some time since my last Muay Thai post.... I've been lazy!!! >.< haha.... Today I went for my second Cairnhill CC training. It was a blast!! =))Did light sparring during the fighter training session but for the first park, lotsa pad work. I really like it. In the beginning my shin kick was horrible...AGAIN!!! I have to buck up!! I can't believe I forgot after one week of no training!!! Hmmm I gotta work harder if I wanna become a fighter!!

We did rotational punch/kicking and blockings and I got to do the punching bag a few times. Think my right side knee is still weak hmmmm I think I have to twist my waist more more more!!! Also we did some conditioning by letting others punch us... with gloves on of course!! Haha... I think I like the pain? Hahaha or I just want my body to get the maximum it can get!!! =P

I find that I'm kinda scared of punching myself in the face when someone punches me and I block now. I was taught how to block properly by Yan after training. The thing is to place the edge of your palm on your brow and block using your whole arm generally and must not forget to hunch so that you can protect your ribs as well... I am just scared of getting hit I guess or maybe I'm not used to it...

I can't wait for next week's training!!! I really wanna up my level!!! I must make sure I do well from now on =)) GAMBATTE

Toxic =))

Baby, can’t you see
I’m calling
A guy like you
Should wear a warning
It’s dangerous
I’m fallin’

There’s no escape
I can’t wait
I need a hit
Baby, give me it
You’re dangerous
I’m lovin’ it

Too high
Can’t come down
Losing my head
Spinning ‘round and ‘round
Do you feel me now

With a taste of your lips
I’m on a ride
You're toxic I'm slipping under
With a taste of a poison paradise
I’m addicted to you
Don’t you know that you’re toxic
And I love what you do
Don’t you know that you’re toxic

It’s getting late
To give you up
I took a sip
From my devil's cup
Slowly
It’s taking over me

Too high
Can’t come down
It’s in the air
And it’s all around
Can you feel me now

With a taste of your lips
I’m on a ride
You're toxic I'm slipping under
With a taste of a poison paradise
I’m addicted to you
Don’t you know that you’re toxic
And I love what you do
Don’t you know that you’re toxic

Don't you know that you're toxic

[x2]
With a taste of your lips
I'm on a ride
You're toxic I'm slipping under
With a taste of a poison paradise
I'm addicted to you
Don't you know that you're toxic

Intoxicate me now
With your lovin' now
I think I'm ready now
I think I'm ready now
Intoxicate me now
With your lovin' now
I think I'm ready now

Confused.... or rather, at a loss.

To, or not to? Am I wrong to feel for him? And why do I feel this way about him? I don't know why this attraction came. I do know that the first time I saw him, I did notice him but there was not really an attraction. In fact at first glance he looked alright but after that initial reaction, I didn't find him attractive. I do know when it started though, perhaps about 3-4 weeks back or so? The suddenly closeness or the sudden getting to know him got to me. At that moment, there was this rush, this feeling that I would like to be with this person, that this scene would be what I wanted were I to be together with this person. I've had this feeling once before, for a short while. But this feeling for this current guy is rather overwhelming. The rush of feeling I feel makes me feel dizzy and it's the typical dizziness associated with romance, something that I haven't felt in quite some time now. I have felt fear when it comes to relationships but this is different from the fear I've felt the past few months when I was in a relationship. This is not the fear of the person, this is the fear and anxiousness you feel when you really want a particular someone and you're scared that by you feeling this way you will lose them. I feel like a girl again. I feel free and young, something that I wasn't able or allowed to feel for a long time. I am ready to move forward now I feel. I have put him behind me. But this person in front of me.... it's like the crush I had long ago all over again.... I want to tell him, yet after experiencing a lot of things I am thinking of far too much. I do know what I have to do, yet my impulsiveness clashes with my anxiousness. What do I want to achieve by telling him? To get it off my chest? To see if there is a chance between us? Suddenly I know what a proper relationship should be like now and I have a feeling that he would share my sentiments on this issue as well. However, I am not sure and thus I am scared.... For once I think I shall break away from my character because I know that this particular part of my character, my impulsiveness, has caused me to act unwisely before. This time round I want to do things right. I will tread carefully. I hope that what happens in the end will be what I am hoping for..

Muay Thai IX

Yesterday we had a free trial with new folks =)) Met a classmate from ICP there too =)) Yesterday the batch after us trained with us and Coach Jason. Did a lot of padwork =)) The most rying one for me was still the shin kick. Throughout the day at the CCA booth, I got help from XN and Yan on how to do the kick and it was getting better, I was twisting and pivoting and all =)) VS helped as well by sharing the method used by Kyokushin Karate. I much prefer that move because it was bent-kneed and offered more stability and your opponent would be less likely to sweep you off your feet. Loved the padwork though and I think my knee technique is getting better =)) punching wise I still think I am lagging and all =)) gotta pick myself up =)) Gotta train train train train TRAIN =))