The Red Wave- A Blessing and A Pain....

URGH today when I met darling I was in a foul mood. Foul foul I say... URGHit hurt like hell and I was so irritated!!!! Couldn't gym and on the way back I even had to sit down awhile because the pain was too unbearable... When we got home, Ashy was barking like a.... well... like a mad dog and I shouted at him to shut up and this sparked my mum to scold me. Man we had a shout out session with Jerome right there... Well it is true, I should learn to control my anger but I could bearly stand and my face had a permanent grimace of pain.... another few minutes of that and my face might remain that way for as long as the Sun rises from the East and sets in the West... YIKES!!! Well after that I was crying like some... I don't know, faucet gone wrong and Darling was just holding me. Things might have been so different without him. I might have just crawled into bed and curled up and die. But there he was soothing and comforting me even though my nose was totally blocked and I was leaking mucus.... yes gross I know... In the end when things got much better (as they always do when Jerome darling is around), I decided to apologise to my mother whomI wanted dead a few minutes ago. Darling is such a... well... a darling!! Hahaha he's the peacemaker here haha. So ya... it's true la I shouldn't make it a habit such that I go back and scream at my hubby next time right? Hmmmm for Darling's sake, I WILL CHANGE!!!! (darling gimme time and wait for me ok? =)))


So we didn't gym. We used the laptop for awhile and then we went for dinner at West Mall. The simple pleasures in life- cheap and nice food haha... Darling is right, a simple meal tastes so much better when you have your loved one around to feed you =)) We later went to the value dollar store and got chocolates >.< and shampoo for me and socks for him hahahahaha and then we came back just in time to bring Ashy for a run and then catch WuFu Dao with my mother =))


Yeah I seemed to chase him outta the house after that I know but that was because of the crippling pain that bloomed in my stomach... Man I wanted to bend down and hug myself and that's what I did on the pretext of holding Ashy... Hmmmm I'm really really sorry Darling it just felt so bad la... =(( I really mis Darling now... wish he didn't have to go. Don't know what I'd do without him. If he had left before sending me home when I was in that mood.... things might be so so different... in a bad way. I'm so glad I have you darling. I want to be with you always =))

<3 Mel

Durian Mousse and Black forest Mousse =))

Today darling picked me up from tuition hahax and then we travelled aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalllllllllll the way to beauty world area where we walked up and down initially wanting to have teochew porridge but changed to ramen because this very picky emperess dowager stopped craving for porridge haha.... darling is going to be very busy when I'm pregnant next time hahahaha he'll have to satisf aaaaaallll my cravings haha =)) muacks. Hmmmmm full full after my dumpling ramen and darling's crispy chicken ramen =)) hmmm the food there is not bad and the service is nice and the steamboat is a nice place for gatherings so note to self, next time can come here with friends =))Had durian and black forest mousses too heehee ok la I think I can learn to slowly like my once-favourite food again haha.... don't know what happened to make me dislike it's aroma LOL

Today I planned my timetable for my studies before the biggie in May and I realised I no longer have the luxury of time. May God give me the strength and perserverence to go on and do well in my exams and I promise I'll go to church with Darling.... really. Hmmm darling is being very VERY understanding and ya we both have to work hard, he in his driving and me in my exams =)) then maybe after that when he is free or when he doesn't have his early modules we can go on HOLIDAYYYYY =)) Love being with him!!

And guess what, today........ NEVER ARGUE!!!! NEVER GET UNHAPPY!!!! In fact today was the first time darling saw my laugh until cannot move side hahahaha both of us were like drunk people walking home: he hiccuping nonstop, and me laughing and almost falling over nonstop hahahaha I haven't laughed like that in a long time.... hmmmmm would he think this girl is too crazy liao?? Hmmmmm worry worry..... But I really had a good time..... This is the beginning of a great beginning hahaaa.... like I said we eem to be working back wards from quarrels to lovey dovey even more hahaha unlik other couples. Think for once, I'm sure, we will be together for a very very long and happy time bordering on forever =))

Love you darling =)) xoxo

5th Monthsary

Yesterday was our 5th month =)) Hmmmm for some reason I woke up in the morning and told darling I wanted to eat Huo Guo haha so the original plan was to go for it at Suntec like what we did the last time. But in the end we went to have Kenny Rogers (ribs, wings and sides along with their corn muffin and two snapples his peach tea, mine pink leomonade). Giant Baby Yoshi sat opposite us haha.... Yupp darling got me the Giant Baby Yoshi I wanted wheeees =))got lots of gushes about the Yoshi haha while we walked around =)) Actually, the day threatened to be a bad one... walking out of his place we got into a squabble which left me saying "We'll never be happy" and after that he thought that meant I didn't see us being happy anymore when it meant that it was actually my problem and all.... sad sad angry angry cry cry BUT THEN well we patched it up. He told me not to keep looking for that One day where we are fully happy but keep up at being happy. I guess that's much silpler and do-able haha... I feel really happy when I'm with him. I'm really trying to curb my temper because I don't want to ruin the happiness he gives me with my bad temper. I promise this quarrels will get lesser and lesser. In a way we're doing it backwards compared to other couples hahaha for others they are more lovey dovey at first then the quarrels start and they break up. For us is the total opposite! Hmmmm perhaps this is the ingredient for a long loooong relationship and yes people I DO mean the big M! haha I won't name our son Yoshi haha but yupp.. =)) wheeees <3

To Dearest PJ

Haha thanks so much for your support babe =)) Hmmmm it's true, we took so long to get together. A saying comes to mind- "What's yours will be yours" hahahhaha YAY =)) the epitome of the word "FATED" hahahahaa.... I WILL treasure him hahah Don't box him hor heehee =)) Wishing you and Merv Man All the best!! =))

Went for an impromptu movie with darling today. Totally ditched gymming... mann I feel fat... LOL anyways we watched The Book of Eli. Everything there is to mock about the religion they were talking about.... how one book could cause so much blood being spilled and all that... prophecy come true? Talk about bad omen... it's written in the back of the book anyways... anyways doesn't really matter. The slicing off of arms and all was good and a good twist at the end is revealed about the main character =))

Enough about the movie.. Went and got Darling a Takane watch 'cause he needed a sports watch, preferably 100m water resistant. Wanted to get him the Timex brand but ah wells as long as he likes it. Thank god Darling is not some Brand Whore who goes for brands brands and more brands. So yupp =)) Happy fifth month in advance darling =)) Muacks

Hmmmm after what happened yesterday, I'm still kind of shaken and I think so is Darling. It does feel like he have weathered a storm together and that should make us stronger. But I've not seen him the whole day and my heart is rather unsettled.... I feel like... more like I fear, what if he now loves me less than before because he got hurt? People tend to hold back after they get hurt right? Have I made him begin to hold back from me? He tells me he is not but I still fear. I don't know what I'll do without his love. I must really learn to curb my temper, or it will be an undoing to all of us...

Today as I cleaned my table and wiped the photo frame with our picture inside, I realised that I really want everyday to be happy, as happy as the moments captured in the photo frame. True, a fight did ensue after one of the photos were taken but we were happy then right? I really want to work hard to make this happiness be for everytime we meet.

Really hope that we will be able to do this together =))

Made the worse mistake of my life today... and almost followed through it totally.... Today, I almost lost Jerome. What started out as a small issue flared up into a really big one and who am I to blame but myself? Me and my stubborn anger..... I did something I have never done before since the 24.10.2009, I took off our ring. I took it off and gave it to him along with the bracelet he gave me.... and then he walked away; as if he finally took his turn to walk away after the many times that I walked away from him. Yes it hurt. But I guess I felt that it hurt because when he did walk away, it was the time that really mattered. Not like how I walk away when I'm angry or petty. He walked away as an answer to me giving him his ring, like he was agreeable to the breakup. After that, I walked away, like I was supposed to when he smsed me that I was to go to my friends since I didn't seem to be talking to him. I carried on down the road I was taking before I decided to give him up. I called Jo and cried on the phone. I had to stop to lean against the wall because my legs felt weak I and I just wanted to sit on the floor and cry. As I talked to her I realised that I couldn't let him go. That I did not want to let him go, or to give up. I ended the call hurriedly to follow with another call to him and he did come down to meet me. I guess I was disheartened totally. After all wasn't his answer clear when he walked away? Met him after awhile and talked things out. He asked me to stay.... some part of me wanted to not stay because what if he was saying it just to say it? Didn't his walking away count for anything? But in the end, I decided to believe him. It was after all my fault, me mis reading him right? He didn't mean to sound jealous or annoy me right? I really plan to keep my promise: that I won't ever walk away from him again and as long as I do not have his ring on my finger, I will never remove the ring around my neck ever.... I'm feeling really down currently. It feels like a wound that is still sore, that is still throbing with pain. I think it would feel worse for him though and I really hope that he still feels the same for me... but I don't know. Maybe he hardened his heart already after this break up? I know that a lot of my friends have quarrels and break ups in their long relaionship and as long as things are patched up well after each break up, they tend to have a very long and loving relationship there after. I really do hope we will be like such cases as well. I really hope he doesn't see this break as an end but see it as having passed an obstacle on our long road of love. Darling I really love you. I cannot live without you do you understand that? Do you know why I see this as only an obstacle and not an end? Because never in my life have I loved someone enough to call them back after I said that I wanted to leave. You're the first and will be my last. I'll love you as best as I can and with my whole heart. Please just bear with me and understand that I love you and do not want your feelings for me to change. I guess that is my largest fear now...

Faded doubts, arise again.
"Never forget us," they seem to say.
Temper flares,only to lay
Devastation is it's path,
Like it's cousin did,
Vanquishing Atlantis.

Yet I pray, for me
To be able to tame wild Temper.
Though it may be easier to tame
A savage beast from the jungles.

I pray for time,
I pray for patience;
Like the ones I never gave.
I pray for chance,
I pray for love...

But most of all Darling, I pray that you'll always be mine to love.

Love always,
Mel

HOT POT!!!!

Today went Suntec with darling for a supposed IT fair but in the end we just went to eat Hot Pot and honestly the service there is ICHIBAN hahaha.... Hmmmm though stomach is close to bursting open and the Mala soup is gave a run for our $$ (plus the runs in the loo too hahahaha) Hmmmm darling got No Frills for my bath room stain today and good news, Wan Ni's cousins need a tuition teacher and their mom asked me hahahaha wonder if they can accept my charge of $380 hmmmmm I dunno.... and as for darling's lobang with the two kids who live like right next to my condo..... hmmm not sure about that.... Ah wells, we shall see... Currently, I'm fretting about tmw's IBM like omg I can't remember shit and I reall can't even remember shit. No examples, theory all gone haicx haix haix this is not the way la Mel... guess tmw is leaving after 1hr with qing again =(( hahahaha but it's ok.... get to meet darling later hahahhaah =))

Quiet night

Hey Blog. Am currently writing to you because.... well because I'm not talking to J. We used to talk everynight before bed well tonight is different. I guess he is tired and all.... ah wells... nothing to worry about. Just hope it ain't going to be like this from now on.... like what happened before eh. Doesn't really matter though... I should be understanding la.... he's tired and all.... found it weird that he didn't reply my sms.... and when I called him and heard him speak like he just got up.... I couldn't bear to speak into the phone. And I told him I'm going to sleep soon and he just asked if I didn't want to talk and all that and after that just said goodnight and bye. Guess I smsed him later to sound out if he was thinking of talking but oh wells... he's obviously sleeping? Nah.... won't feel too bad.... today alone.... we fought again... over A level results...like I guess its my fault that I felt inferior and all that but I just didn't want to say it and after that when I cooled down he got sad that I still didn't tell him whats wrong and under the pressing I couldn't stand it and burst out at him. True he told me not to go and all and I appreciate it.... after that I tried to be jovial again and ya we did gym. I guess all was sweet until now? Ya we do fight but we always end it nicely... but tonight I'm just faced with silence and yupp I have to accept it and yupp I guess when I wake up tomorrow I won't feel bad? After all, better to not talk than talk and he falling asleep on me and I get even more angry right?

=)) temper in check

Today went out for dinner with Darling. Wan Ni's cousin is actually J's friend lar omg hahhahahahhahaa small small world.... today didn't get angry hahahahaa watched Alice in Wonderland woots =)) Hmmmm weird feeling now..... hmmmm dunno why.... Hmmmm Mel is so weird hahahahhahaha.... bad day dreams all the bloody time.... and all the same about some girl sntching Darling away and me seeing and me beating the bejesuses out of her.... HEAR ME ROAR....

What I love about you

You once asked me what I liked about you. True, it was asked at the wrong time and in the wrong way and I gave a harsh answer- "I don't know why either." However I would like to say that there are lots of things that I love about you and here are some of them.....

1) The way you always care for me
2) Your patience with my anger
3) Yours eyes that do not wander
4) Your hand that's always there in case I fall
5) Your smile with your nice set of teeth
6) Your kisses that are always in abundence
7) The way you always worry when I have a little discomfort
8) When you worry about the gifts you give me
9) When you tell me not to pay for stuff because you want to show how much you love me
10) The way you tell me you love me every single day

These are only 10 and there are many more but you get the drift. That's why I want to spend the rest of my life with you =)) <3

Gymming!!!

Today went Gymming with Darling =)) wheees and hahahhaa he SO has NOT lost his old charm in the gym hahahahahhaha.... feels like I was back at school again oogling my crush hee hee =)) except now the 'crush' resiprocates hahahhaa =)) SHUAI SHUAI DAI LE!!! hahahaha hmmmm had a rather big tiff with Darling yesterday night... very very sad... slept waaaaay to late to take in anything for today's revision... I should really check my temper... it's not fair to him that he's doing soooo much for me ... Mel, you gotta show some love mann.... If not later he doesn't want you... I should really start listening to advice haha... last time when my girls told me that bugger wasn't a good chap or they sorta didn't like him I couldn't see. Now all of them are telling me this guy is a great guy and I shouldn't hurt him. Yes Mel, I know you love him and want to be with him so it's time you REALLY SHOW IT!!!! =))