Hmmmm I really really wanna be friends with him.... but he seems to be pushing me away. Somehow, it's weird but I know I'll smile when he gets back together with her because.... after all that we've been through he still couldn't put his love down so she must mean a lot to him. And I don't know maybe it's the ultimate form of love? When there is no more that type of affection, just wanting the person to be happy? Haha... In the mean time, I've found that I am very happy now and somehow, I'm hoping that he'll be happy for me =)) He'll always be more than a friend.... how can you be just friends after spending 9 months together? But then.... he'll never have the space in my heart that he used to occupy. When I give my heart, I give it all and when I take it back, well.. I take it all back. No residuals or pieces stuck with the other party. Right now, J's my world, my everything. And I will not let any parts of the past affect him and us. I am able to sort my thoughts out rather quickly =)) haha a pat on the shoulder for me.... haha some people might think why is it that she's getting into a relationship so quickly after the first one ended? They can doubt me and all but hey, it's my life and I do have my reasons for it. The past relationship started like how wildfires start: a spark on the dry bush which quickly catches onto the rest of the forest... then... it burns out just as quickly. There was no getting to know you and no history for us. But for J... haha those of you who know me know what history I have with him. LOL and you will know my affections for him were founded quite a time back. I guess God answered my prayers, delayed, because No.1, I did ask for an exciting life, No. 2, Maybe he threw in my way all these distractions because he wanted to show me that when all these fog clears up there is the guy standing there and he'll be the right one? HE works in mysterious ways and one will find it hard and downright impossible to fathom his thoughts. But all in all, I'm thankful for what he has done for me so far. And I hope he will continue... no I know he will continue loving me, as I continue to find my path to him. One day, I'll reach him and when that day comes, I'll be smiling like how he'll be smiling down on me.. =))