Hmmm it's been quite some time since I last posted stuff up here... haven't felt well enough to get into the mood to post stuff anywhere... including facebook haha... Yep recently I went for PJ, Elaine and Ger Ng's birthday with the OG19 gang. Hhahahaa well its great to know I was sober for the night eh hahaha,.... not that my alcohol threshhold is THAT bad haha.... Things have been kinda rocky lately.... them insucurities came back topped off with the mood I get into now adays..... I do hope it will pass... to say I put up walls is.... hmmmm may not be so true now... more of like....my new mantra is to- Not expect and you won't get disappointed. Don't have negative thoughts so that there is no reason to blame stuff on yourself for self- prophecies haha.... I think if everyone took this attitude, we would have a l,ot less disappointment in our lives don't you think? It ranges from or grades to our friends and even to our families. Right now I have the idea to live one day at a time. Planning..... I used to plan lotsa things and in the end I don't carry them out and I feel horrid. Whats more, you never know when you're gonna die. What the point of worrying and planning and not being able to enjoy the here and now when the next second you might be... well... dead? Morbid I know but stuff happens and it gets me thinking.... I don't know if I'm afraid of death or if I'm afrad that I won't be able to tell the people I love that I really do love them before I depart. So I guess I'll have to show it more right? hahaa....