Relationships: "Window Shopping"

A few months back, I had a conversation with a friend who was having problems wooing a girl and he was rather stressed up about it. I gave him the idea of window shopping.

A relationship is not an easy process; neither is it something that will make you happy all the time. It is something that has a lot of ups and downs and sometimes there will be consecutive "down-times" which will drain you emotionally and physically. Thus, a relationship is not something for you to jump into that quickly. That's why we have "Window Shopping".

We "window shop" until we find a suitable article of clothing for us to part our money with; tranlated into relationship terms, we go about looking at the various choices of people until we find one that fits our criteria and is worth us spending our time and effort to build a relationship with.

One thing about Window Shopping is that we have to take our time and understand that as long as our "money" is with us, no one can force us to part with the "money" to invest it in them. If the color of the shirt isn't what we want, don't buy it. If the sleeves are too short, don't buy it. If there are too few buttons for your liking, don't buy it.

Sometimes, we come across a shirt that has everything we want in it's design, like my friend did; the buttons were the perfect shape, the color was his favourite, the shirt would make him look awesome. The only thing is, it was one size too small. In relationship terms, the girl was perfect, everything he wanted in a future wife, but she didn't appear interested and was stringing him along. So there is that one flaw. And that one flaw would be a fatal flaw.

So I asked him, given that you are window shopping and you fell for this "shirt" but you know that it is one size too small, why force yourself into the shirt and wear it knowing it will be uncomfortable? The "Mall" is so big, just go to a new store and find a better "Shirt" out there.

To me there is no such thing as "The Best", there is only the "Good Enough For You". There will always be someone better out there, all we do is to open our eyes to look. But when you find someone who is good enough for you and settle down... well that's that then. But till then, feel free to window shop so that you do not invest in a "shirt" that will make you part with your money and then give you problems like color running and shrinking. Buy a shirt that fits.

Teenage Angst

I wrote this awhile back when I was having problems with my parents. My views may have shifted since than but they are still valid for many teens out there.

All Parents damage their kids; one way or another. They can damage in the form of physical abuse and also emotional abuse; and the thing is, most parents never ever think that they are in the wrong. Maybe it’s the Asian way where by the elders are always right and they are usually too proud to ever acknowledge that they are wrong. But then again I seldom hear of parents apologising to their kids.

To me, emotional abuse is much worse than physical abuse. Maybe it’s because I’ve never been physically abused and all, unlike the Child Called It, but I sure as hell have been emotionally abused. Every. Single. Day. There is not one day of rest in this turmoil that I go through. My folks hurl abuse like they are hurling snowballs in a snow fight. They say stuff like I’m worse than a dog, they do not understand why they have a daughter like me, why can’t I be like so-and-so, you’re worse than a boy (because I didn’t help out much, in their eyes, in the house moving... like what????), bloody hell, you can go to hell, etc etc.

Alright, this may not be the worse but you get my drift. Imagine having needles poked into you every day. Accumulated, it hurts. Some of the stuff they say are in mandarin and the meaning is hard to put across so I’ll skip those. But hey, think about it, you have enemies outside who call you all the shit that they can. You come home, and you hear the same shit from people who swear they “are the ones who love you the most in the world.” Doesn’t make sense to me. I know some people might say they do this for your own good but come on people, deep down you know it’s for your own good but come take this every single day and tell me if you won’t hate them enough to forget that it’s for your own good and want to take a cleaver and slice them into two. Many small things build up to become one huge problem.

So..... please do think before you act parents. And to those who are gonna be parents, I guess we will have to remember that kids are human and they grow and they have the same capacity to love, or hate, as we do. You don’t want to be hated by the people whom you claim to love the most in the world, jolly well think before you say or do any shit.

Start Loving Yourself

"You know you truely love yourself when you find that Break Outs hurt you more than Break Ups" - Me

Yep I sincerely believe in what I said above. When you have a break out and you flip because you love yourself and you do not want to be in that state where your beauty is being demolished by pimples, it shows that you care about yourself. When you break up and you cry and mop around it's because you feel like you've lost someone. WHO THE HELL DOES THIS SOMEONE THINK HE OR SHE IS?? Why do you have to cry over them??

It's fine for you to cry over your beauty, girl! Because YOU are important. So love yourself because there ain't anyone more important than you! So dry them tears for that no-good-son-of-a-bitch who screwed you up and save them tears for emergencies involving you!

Protecting yourself: The Wall

It's a shame how so many of us get taken in by fakeness... When I see what I see now, I feel pity for the people taken in by the false front; I am also amused though, which is weird for I should be feeling upset? Haha, I guess I've really proven my point, gone were the days where I will feel sad or torment myself with "what-ifs" and memories.

I always like to say "to each his own". I am happy that I am moving forward and actually learning (yes I am still capable at learning at past 20) LOL. I see that people who hide themselves very well can put on a mask very well because they have made themselves into a blank wall with which no one can figure out. It is thus very easy for them to draw out whatever they want people to see and as people do not know of the meaning of the blank wall, they take the newly decorated wall as the actual image of the person.
A smart technique; I have to give them that.

However, once you knock down the wall everything becomes much clearer. You see that behind the wall is a room and it is in this clutter or emptiness that is the person's true self. Once you knock down the wall, and you know how everything was actually an illusion, a distraction, you can never bring the wall back up again. It will be hard to trust that particular person again because you will forever be on your guard.

The worst thing is when you already know about the mask, and know that you should be on guard, yet, you let your guard slip as you admire the graffiti on the wall and soon you get taken in by it. The only way out is to finally see that it is a wall again. Then you can get out of it.

I pity those who have the come up against such walls, but I am proud of those who have seen through them. Yet I seek to learn the technique to build such walls as they may come in handy. After all, the other extreme, the open book, will make us suffer more hurt than if we were to have a wall.

Honestly?

I find no need to share my feelings and thoughts with someone who doesn't share theirs with me. Why keep asking all the questions and I have to keep answering them? I refuse. And if the friendship turns sour, they only have themselves to blame. May God bless them that one day they will know why majority of the world don't like them.

Did you really think I was that weak?

I did. In fact I never knew I was this strong. It was only after talking to a good friend that I realised what the situation was in front of me. I was out to prove something to myself. And it was a bonus that the process was rather enjoyable too. All this time I was actually giving myself an illusion because I was so used to a specific sort of situation. In the end I realise that I put myself in that position for a mission. I was like a spy who had lost his identity and memory during the mission and was totally drawn into it and suddenly, I remembered what I started out to do. I woke up. And waking up never felt so good because it was like a spark and suddenly the mission was complete. It was that easy. I've said this before, I work with triggers; and today I found my trigger and the bullet just exploded from the barrel. I am thankful for this mission though, learned a lot, and I mean a lot be it physically or emotionally.

Mission Complete; Pack up.

:)

I honestly think I'm kinda blessed. Hahahaha.... When you are in situations whereby each time round, it gets better and better, well, you should be real happy. Ofcourse when you hit the best and then the next plummets to be below average you kinda get sad hahahaa..

Right now... all I got to focus on about this is not to fall in love. Shouldn't be a problem.... right?....

Today

Well... today... I took a gamble =))

April Fool's day

Hahaha... oh Cadeo~ LOL My first victim!!! Haven't done a prank in forever!!! Actually I've not done it before at all!! LOL