Finally I said goodbye to my past... albeit even if I didn't know it was still somewhat here. I always thought- Hmmmm is God playing a big joke?? WHY is it that my r/s seems to be a replay of everything that happened but now I'm the bad guy??? Things kept happening again and again with striking similarities to the past and yes I must finally admit it did get to me. But today, I chose the path that wasn't chosen in the last r/s. I DEVIATED... (did I spell that right?)... I was on that path to self destruction when suddenly it hit me like someone threw a rock at me and yelled WAKE THE@#$^&@#$%^&@#$%^ UP!!! I realised that this was it. And I chose the path- the path that would mean the end to all similarities to the last r/s because will whatever fate that was still left behind has been all used up and is now gone. Chinese (or was it the Japanese) believe that when someone enters your life, they leave something behind because you are fated to meet and will thus have an unbreakable link forever.... UNLESS your fate is 'used up' so to speak. I guess it's God's way of telling me "Girl this is it. You wanna really end your fate with that guy I'm gonna put you through the hard route but if you do make it you'll come out victorious and free" and so I did. I made that choice, one that I know I will never regret. =)) I'm happy. I'm free. I wanna SING RUN JUMP SCREAM hahahaa.... But most importantly, I wanna now really truely give my all and build a better life for my darling and I. Goodbye old Mel hello Mel Tong haha =))