My boyfriend is so nice to me....

Just now, I was riled up and unhappy. Had a misunderstanding with darling. He was very nice to me =)) didn't get angry, just a little upset. Could feel him kinda getting sore when suddenly he just bacame gentle again. It's very much like a dream.... one that came true. It's true if you love someone you will change for the person.

Darling has been doing so much for me. And right now, I feel nothing short of the luckiest and most loved girlfriend in the world. =))

Love you darling <3

KL and beyond

Hmmmm just came back yesterday from a trip with darling's family. Actually didn't expect my parents to be ok with it but ok they were. Yupp I was very very nervous to be heading out with his family.... after all I've not been out with them much haha.... They were very hospitable. His poor siblings had to squeeze into the smaller back seat the whole way to KL though haha... Really this was an eye opener for me because I've only been to KL I think like once and I don't even remember it... Haha... but his parents go there more frequently and they really knew what they were doing haha...

Darling's a great driver too. I envy him that he can drive and on an expressway in Malaysia at that =)) and he ws really competent. Not jumpy and rather bold in his driving =)) 110KM/Hr haha =)) there were also many speedchecks on the way which was I guess just another chance for the traffic police to earn some quick buck.

We stayed at Park Royal hotel. I shared a room with his sister and mom. God I shared the same bed with his mom whilst his sis was nice enough to sleep on the floor... still feel bad about it but hey the second night I slept on the floor with darling so that the two younger silblings could have the bead after a few games of bridge haha =)) I finally know how to play the game wheeeeees =))

Ok so I spent on like a top, a dress, a pen for Wan Ni, gum, donuts (which I ate a lot of omg), a nice sling bag and some contact lenses =)) Didn't get anything from Chinatown though but it was an experience =)) wheeeees I'd like to g to Malaysia again =)) I also joined darling and his dad and bro at the Thai massage place on the last day while his mom and sister went to do their nails =)) haha it was fun but the neck part did hurt. And I swear if the girls tried to hit on darling I don't care if they learned kung fu to give those massages I would have killed all of them by strangling them with the towels they were using.

The trip was not only for me to get to know his family and for them to get to know me but also for us both to learn something. We knew that we were having some issues with our anger and all that so before the trip, both of us planned to put up a good front in a bid to start learning to be more tolerating towards each other and we were kinda putting ourselves in a position where we would have no choice because of the audience around us majority of the time we were there. I wouldn't say things went without a single pronlem butwe did learn some valuable things. Of course we both will still need time to internalise this but I am actually quite certain that things are looking up =))

Changing of blog look =))

A new beginning calls for a new face to my blog. Gonna see more happy posts in future so I think PINK would be a good color... hmmm the butterfly did look too sad anyways and it was more of a link to the song Roses and Butterflies which was my fav song when I started the blog and around that time I wasn't too happy anyways.

Now I have my darling and I so want to be happy =)) so that old shit has got to go (now then I realised it sorry baby).

OUT WITH THE OLD AND MOULDY AND IN WITH THE NEW HAPPY ME =))

Tears of happiness

Tonight I underwent the phenomenon (did I spell that right?) which I have seldom or not at all experienced; tears of happiness. Thetears just leaked out. They were different from what I'd experienced the nights leading up to tonight. They came rushing out when I saw him again. My darling was back =)) True, he did start off angry that I'd shared all my woes and placed him in a bad light for the whole world to see in my blog. But something different happened. Tonight, after we had a good talk, he actually wasn't angry at me for long. In fact when I'd least expected it, he became the tender guy I hadn't seen in a long time. It was very sweet of him and it made me so very happy because he'd actually listened to my requests and he was trying to be nice to me to make it work. =)) Thank you darling =))

We're going to try hard =)) things haven't been going smoothly recently but like I said, "If there are 10 bad posts, we'll make the good posts 20. If there are 100 bad posts we'll make the good posts 200.) It won't be easy, but I know that we'll achieve it. I believe in him, in what he feels for me. And I don't doubt that I love him.

We'll be going to Malaysia on Monday along with the rest of his family. I'm gonna take it as a "Getting back on track" camp where we will learn under pressure once more to be nice to each other and to tolerate stuff because we do have an audience that really matter. =))

Somehow, I have a good feeling about what is to come.... =))

<3

I need to rant

Today, I woke up around 1pm.... Yes I know very very late... I usually wake up around this timing daily. Yep had a quarrel with my boyfriend over SMS, which was bad enough. Then my dad had to come it and be that piece of shit that he is. I'm fine with people nagging at me.... ok not very fine. But it's much worse when they give me nonsense and no-link CRAP that really gets my goat. And my dad is a master at giving nonesensical bits of "knowledge" that have to link whatsoever.

I was up, I went out of the room and drank water then I went back to my room to read some stuff. He came in and said "You should get your body running" meaning I've to be up and going?? What my body and system are running perfectly that's why I could WALK to the kitchen. What do you want make me go for a jog? I didn't wanna eat because I ain't hungry but.... hello what's with people and forcing others who are not hungry to eat???

Then he suddenly asks some question which I feel was 1) none of his business and 2) we have talked about this before and 3) it's not what you think so let me cut you and tell you what is actually happening for the bloody 5th time. I was agitated and so my tone and face was too. He told me I was rude and he didn't deserve the way I look at him and he actually said "I don't deserve this type of eyesight from you." O.o riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight...

He started comaparing me to my boyfriend etc and since he paints my boyfriend in such good light let's just bear the brunt of it even though I was dying to shout out that it wasn't true LOL... WHATEVER!

What followed was NAG NAG NAG.... man I should do a Kesha song called that. Damn it.

So I called my boyfriend to rant. Ranting wasn't very good and he gave me very politically correct answers and asked me if he could use his house phone instead of the handphone. Guess his folks are around. I ended the call. He's obviously not interested because he's definitely taking me at my word that no need to call (even though I was angry still when we put down the phone) and he's not even texted me. Great. Talking about how you can feel people's intrest in you slipping.

Relating to the previous post, I don't feel wanted by him much anymore. Hmmmm so..... I'll go want myself! =))

When it seems like the care and attention once lavished on you has dissappeared, it is normal for one to feel unloved. I can't help but feel unloved sometimes. Feeling unloved brings out insecurities. Too much insecurities and people will tend to dislike you even more. I need to pick myself up. No more drowning myself in sorrow. For someone else to love you, you must first love yourself =))

I will always love you =))

Just a gentle whisper
Tell me that you called
Even only in memories
Where did we go wrong
Couldn�t find the words then
So, let me say it now
I�m still in love with you

Tell me that you love me
Tell me that you care
Tell me that you need me
And I�ll be there
I�ll be there waiting

I would always love you
I would always stay true
There�s no one who loves you like I do
Come to me now
I will never leave you
I will stay here with you
Through the good and bad
I will stand true
I�m in love with you

Now were here together
Yesterday has past
Life is just beginning
Close to you at last
And I promise to you
I would always be there
I give my all to you

Living life without you
Is more than I can bear
Hold me close forever
(I�ll be there)
I�ll be there for you

I would always love you
I would always stay true
There�s no one who loves you like I do
This I promise
I will never leave you
I will stay here with you
Through the good and bad
I will stand true
Hold me closer

Our love is forever
Holding us together
Nothing in this world can stop us now
Love has found
Love has found, our way
I�m in love (I�m so in love)
I�m in love (yes, I�m in love)
I�m so in love
With you