I really should learn to keep my mouth shut...not rock the boat... I wish it wasn't a dream. I'm scared it is. Right now I want the dream back. That's all...

It all sems like a dream.... you know, those dreams that sometimes are the sweetest you can have then it turns around and becomes a mini nightmare and then everything plays out like a normal dream once again? Yupp... thats what it feels like. There are residuals of the dream in my day to day life now.... and not all of them unpleasant. But one tends to think if these residuals from the dream turn into reality once we are awake or are they merely fragments of the dreams you had and will soon fade away? For some, I don't want them to fade away. For others... I don't mind having them stay? haha but then again, isn't life just one big dream? =))

Hmmm it's been quite some time since I last posted stuff up here... haven't felt well enough to get into the mood to post stuff anywhere... including facebook haha... Yep recently I went for PJ, Elaine and Ger Ng's birthday with the OG19 gang. Hhahahaa well its great to know I was sober for the night eh hahaha,.... not that my alcohol threshhold is THAT bad haha.... Things have been kinda rocky lately.... them insucurities came back topped off with the mood I get into now adays..... I do hope it will pass... to say I put up walls is.... hmmmm may not be so true now... more of like....my new mantra is to- Not expect and you won't get disappointed. Don't have negative thoughts so that there is no reason to blame stuff on yourself for self- prophecies haha.... I think if everyone took this attitude, we would have a l,ot less disappointment in our lives don't you think? It ranges from or grades to our friends and even to our families. Right now I have the idea to live one day at a time. Planning..... I used to plan lotsa things and in the end I don't carry them out and I feel horrid. Whats more, you never know when you're gonna die. What the point of worrying and planning and not being able to enjoy the here and now when the next second you might be... well... dead? Morbid I know but stuff happens and it gets me thinking.... I don't know if I'm afraid of death or if I'm afrad that I won't be able to tell the people I love that I really do love them before I depart. So I guess I'll have to show it more right? hahaa....

Telling me things that I want to hear

And then the wind blows.
The flowers stop their swaying
Just to listen to that-
The gentle call of the wind
That comes sweeping like a scythe
Through the fields.

The wind blows across the sea
And the waves stop their crashing
Just to pick up the whispers
Of the howling wind smashing off
Any found surface, with a
Giant, rough force.

The wind blows into my house
Through the closed windows
Just to let me hear what
I want to hear. And like so,
It's always telling me
Things I want to hear.

Es ist nichts

Es ist nichts Es ist nichts Es ist nichts Es ist nichts
ich bin ganz richtig ich bin ganz richtig ich bin ganz richtig =))

Was watching some animal documentary recently and I found out that this particular lizrd, it's name eludes me now, actually stays faithful to its mate for 20 years there abouts. Amazing huh? haha nature has it's sweet side too =))

Then there is the mother anaconda. She is an amazing creature. When she is heavily pregnant, instead of laying her eggs in the open she carries them inside her an when she warms herself, she uses this warmth from the sun to help incubate her eggs. When the time is rights, she gives birth to live young =)) and then ... she just.... goes away. I mean, her duty is finished right? As long as she gave her all when it mattered it really doesn't matter whether she stays on after her babies are out. haha

Wir werden sehen is all I can say.... maybe the syntax is wrong but yep the meaning sure is there haha. I find that people re hard to please. When they do not have something, they pin for it. When they do, they suspect it and prepare themselves for losing it. When they lose it, they sob and cry but comfort themselves by saying they saw it happen. When they do not lose it they fear that they will. Why can't we as simple as the animals which are either yes or no. Stay or go. Hmmm I wonder... O.o

Few more days

2 weeks more actually. Mann Oct this year will be one hell of an eventful month for me. And let's hope that I don't get a triple whammy with it I guess haha... oh wells... what can I say if it comes it comes and when it does you gotta fight and make yourself happy again I guess. If it doesn't come then good for you la hahaha

Argh

Kinda like WTF, ATF, the like OMFG and NNBCB and CCB and KNNBCCB hahahahhahahahhahahas